Right exactly - to me, having sexual preference (as a male) for other males, is just a "preference," not a lifestyle as you say. I mean I did have hetero sex up until my mid-20s, and then it all changed. So it's not like I don't find females attractive or have desires for them, but they aren't my primary "preference."
And I like your definition of Lifestyle being a choice, while attraction isn't. I agree with that totally. But I think there is always some element of choice involved in deciding to live a certain way, as flamoyantly out of the closet, or in your face about being gay, or being closeted, or just being neutral...and much of the choice comes from how you honestly feel about yourself.
I'm not a homophobe at all, I'm glad you could see that. I mean I'm gay but it's always been to me, a huge blessing and I've always tried to encourage others to see it that way. However - I am very open about discussing issues about gayness, and sometimes that comes across as being somehow anti-gay or not fully accepting. And I hope that is not how I come across.