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2piradians , in When Lemmy.world and Lemmy.ml go down

UND KEINE EIER!

Shisma ,
Sharpiemarker , in Oh god oh shit

You’re*

derpo ,

Your*

internet_peasant ,

“Your” shows possession (your car). “You’re” is a contraction of “you are” (you’re happy).

ArchmageAzor ,
@ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world avatar

Actually it’s “ur”

key ,

Actually it’s “Arr” 🏴‍☠️

VikingHippie ,

Who do I see about my timbers? They seem to be overdue for a shivering…

zaph ,
@zaph@lemmy.world avatar

You’re*

Redredme ,

I just like it the way it is. This way it’s an insult. Like it’s probably meant to be.

Like: You (the) fucking loser. You (the) fucking failure. See?

It’s good like it is. Great even.

Zaxo23 , (edited ) in Stinky fingers.
@Zaxo23@lemmy.ml avatar

I worked in Alaska at a canning plant for a salmon season once. All the men lived in one bunk house and we shared a bathroom with shower stalls…

there was one guy that thought it was the funnest thing in the world to leave a log in the shower he used that morning…

it happened so often that they called a meeting with everyone in the men’s bunk house. Just to tell us if it happened again someone would get sent home on their dollar ($1300 plane ride home). He pretended to be super grossed out and kept saying things like “this isn’t funny guys” and “this needs to stop”… sigh.

Anyways… he worked on the loading dock and got hit in the mouth by a crane. Broke all his teeth. the company payed $30,000 to get him a new set.

VikingHippie ,

Too few stories end with “anyways, he got hit in the mouth by a crane” these days!

WhiteHotaru , in When Lemmy.world and Lemmy.ml go down

Und nicht nur dann! 👋

morrowind , in For real
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

Thank god for the “lmfaoooooo 🤣🤣🤣” on the original meme. I would never have been able to tell it was a joke that could be interpreted as funny without it

c0mbatbag3l ,
@c0mbatbag3l@lemmy.world avatar

Step 1. Add a layer of reaction to the meme.

Step 2. Repost

Step 3. ???

Step 4. Profit

ArcticLynx ,

actually there’s not enough emojis I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel

dnzm ,
@dnzm@feddit.nl avatar

Shit, completely missed that, can someone add a red circle please.

PlaidBaron , in Ancestral math
@PlaidBaron@lemmy.world avatar

4094 divided by 2 is 2047 male anscestors. The average volume of semen per ejaculation is roughly 3 mL on average.

2047 x 3 is 6141 mL of cum or 6.14 L of cum or about a gallon and a half.

The average fuel efficiency for cars in the US (sorry Europeans) is 25 mpg. This means if cum had the same energy density as gasoline you could travel roughly 37.5 miles on all the cum your male anscestors produced in the last 400 years.

odium ,

That’s only one ejaculation per male ancestor. You can safely assume that the average male ancestor ejaculated more than once. This would increase the distance traveled using the cum energy.

MereTit ,

L/theydidthemath

stebo02 ,
@stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

l/foundthemobileuser teehee

0x4E4F , in For real
@0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

Those guys are well paid and they would never be fighting for anything if they weren’t.

The wife/husband cheating… meeh, the same can be said about him/her when they’re deported. Or anyone that’s abroad for one reason or another (long distance relationships). And this is nothing new, things like this happen all the time. Physical closeness with another human being is a need for most people.

GFGJewbacca ,

I was long distance with my wife for over a decade before we started living in the same place. We stayed committed the entire time because we care deeply for each other, and wanted each other to get the education we needed. Did it suck to be apart that long? Damn right. But to say that it’s human nature to cheat when not in the same place is BS.

dfc09 ,

Yep, I deployed and my wife and I stayed faithful to each other. The military just has a way of convincing terrible matchups to get married. I started dating my wife a bit before I joined, and basic training had me ready to marry her as soon as I graduated. Luckily she was smarter than me and we waited a few years and worked out about 40,000 problems before we actually got married.

But I see a lot of young soldiers who aren’t smarter. The military can make you feel very alone, make you miss your friends or girlfriend super badly, make you want to make a big romantic gesture when you get back to them, make you want to lock in a partner to face the world with. So yes the 18-20 year olds go marry somebody they really shouldn’t have, and over the years they grow apart because they were only held together by expectations. Then when they get split up by a deployment, they both want to experience another person consequence free.

vd1n ,

It’s almost as if some aren’t mature enough at 18 to be in the military.

dfc09 ,

I agree, but very few self respecting adults are going to voluntarily sign up for a combat MOS, and we gotta keep those gears turning on the military industrial complex!

For real though, I got lucky. Joined at 19, thought I wanted to kill people, didn’t deploy until I was 23 and much more in the mindset of “what the fuck this is not me at all”

A lot of the younger guys were vocally disappointed when they found out it was just a peacekeeping mission, low risk. Us “older guys” just said thank God, we’d like to go back to our families at the end of this.

0x4E4F ,
@0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

No one is actually mature enough at the age of 18. It’s society’s norm for matureness because you have to set a somewhat low enough limit for things like this, like enlisting.

Im reality, you mature completely when you’re about 25.

vd1n ,

.

0x4E4F ,
@0x4E4F@lemmy.rollenspiel.monster avatar

You my friend are probably one of the few that made it. You have no idea how many blond-haired blue-eyed gypsies we have around here, all born around the time when NATO got involved in the post-war activities. Hey, not saying all of them were married, but I’d bet at least some of them were.

As I said, it’s human nature. We all wanna snuggle to a warm body when we go to bed… or have sexual releif after a long day… or both. Otherwise, this meme wouldn’t actually be a meme in the first, place, why would you make a meme like this if things weren’t actually like this.

They are, whether you like to admit it or not. If things worked out for you, that doesn’t mean they worked out for everyone else. If you believe in eternal love and living happily ever after, I’m sorry to say but you live in a fairy tale. Most people would rather cheat than wait for their significant other to return. Hell, I would. I wouldn’t actually be OK with my SO leaving me to go and do… whatever, but if she’s so bent on doing that, hell, I’m not gonna wait for her to get her master’s or whatever, while I’m over here jerking off, bone dry. Fuck that, I didn’t sign up for that. I’ll stay married, for the sake of the kid, at least till he’s grown, but she didn’t think about my physical needs when leaving, so why should I care about being fathefull. Hell, I’m not surpirsed if she cheated on me as well. But if she was the one that wanted to go abroad to do whatever, why would she be pissed if she found out I was cheating. I would actually tell her this before she left, that there is a good chance I will cheat on her if she just got up and left for 2, 3, 10 years. It’s not like I’m not gonna warn her. And if she still decides to go, hell, it’s all on her. Hell, she was warned.

Babe, I love you, but I also love sex… it’s just who I am… you knew this when we got married (and she does know this, that I love sex), so I really can’t be held responsibe if my wife is not around. Sorry, it’s just how I am and where things stand. If I knew you were planning on making this thing long distance when we got married, I’m sorry but I probably never would have married you in the first place.

This is exactly what I would say to her if she planned on making our marriage a long distance one. As I said, that is NOT what I signed up for.

ParisHL , in Lemmy servers after the api change

They seem to be holding up better than I thought they would.

Dark_Blade ,
@Dark_Blade@lemmy.world avatar

Better than anyone imagined, really; I thought this place would be down for days.

Maybe it just means the migration was smaller than we thought…

VikingHippie , in Miiiiiiiiiiiiiist

Best selling? Yeah right! It’s a well-known fact that Myst cd-roms just kept appearing everywhere under their own volition whether you wanted them to or not. No sale or purchase ever took place.

themeatbridge ,

Ok, but did you put the disc in your red cd rom drive or the blue one?

VikingHippie ,

Grey, I think 🤔

gravitas_deficiency , in Flag of Canada but it’s approaching you

Wow, I can see all twelve pixels of this image!

rockSlayer , in Flag of Canada but it’s approaching you

Yes, let the vexillology circlejerk begin!

TotallyNotSpez , in When Lemmy.world and Lemmy.ml go down

Ich bin kein Berliner!

eierkuchen ,

Das heißt Pfannkuchen

TotallyNotSpez , (edited )

Ich bin Pfannkuchen Berliner!

Imgonnatrythis , in Why did Zuck green screen himself outside in a back yard?

Dude it was an ad for BBQ sauce. Know how much sweet baby ray paid him for this?

Rayspekt , in When Lemmy.world and Lemmy.ml go down

HAMMERZEIT

vd1n , in Miiiiiiiiiiiiiist

I played that level. And only that level. Lol

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