We wrote to you upon receipt of your tax return informing you that it had been passed to our Frivolous Returns department for further examination. That examination is now complete.
It is with regret that we have to inform you that you are clown shoes. We think it is possible that the doctor may have mistakenly certified a placenta in your case.
As unlikely as it seems that you are actually earning a taxable income you should probably pass this matter over to a competent adult to help you with the self-assessment process.
Clown shoes, bud.
Alvis Connaught Frivolous Returns, Inland Revenue Service
Much as I find it difficult to sympathise with bureaucracies, can’t help but feel the Frivolous Returns dept. might be the alter-ego of the ‘Now, Don’t Be A Cunt’ department.