I think your rant is incredibly on point. However, I also think the reality of the modern internet is bots, state level disinformation campaigns, and truly bad faith shitlords who are just there to ruin the experience for everyone else.
but this point:
This is getting to their heads and breaking instances off, isolating them, causing the user to have to make 16 different accounts so they can access information scattered all over a bunch of servers that is the awesome thing we call the 'fediverse ’
Is exactly why in its current state, this isn’t going to work.