I agree that combative tone does not make sense in conveying a message and more hinders than anything. But I have done so myself and probably will fall into the same trap here and there. I would argue that it is a good thing to tell someone “I agree in principle but I think you should reconsider your words to strip them of divisive content” or the like.
Psychology tells us that most people mean good, sometimes making the worst mistakes that produce terrible outcomes.