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the Lactaid-brand eggnog gives me explosive diarrhea

why 😭

it tastes so good

Edit: I have looked at the nutrition label and done some mental math based on how much of the container is left. 80% of daily cholesterol. 100% daily saturated fats. 120% daily added sugars. This was in one glass.

What the fuck is this liquid taco bell bullshit

Postmortem: after sleeping and having a nightmare where I had a heart attack and died while shitting my brains out, I have poured the remaining half of the eggnog down the drain and have resolved to never buy it again because I like being alive

cityboundforest ,
@cityboundforest@beehaw.org avatar

Is this the new sugar free Haribo gummy bear bag

SwingingTheLamp ,

It contains both guar gum and carrageenan, both of which may be linked to digestive upset.

xmunk ,

Eggnog is delicious.

Eggnog is not water.

Treat it like a candy bar and enjoy it in moderation.

Tuss ,

The problem with lactose free milk is that it’s not lactose free.

They have just provided you with the lactose enzyme that you can’t produce yourself to break down the lactose.

It could be so simple that the enzyme provided is bot enough for you and you need to pop an extra pill with enzyme.

Or your stomach just don’t like the sugars in it.

KISSmyOS ,

Lactaid sounds like a laxative brand, too.
Or a breast pump.

BudgetBandit ,

Just… make your own egg nog?

You literally just heat up 6 yolks, some vanilla of choice, 150g (maybe 3/4 cups?) sugar in a double bath, whisk until creamy, add 300g cream (about 10 1/2 fluid ounces?) and like 150g rum (my preferred thing) or milk (roughly 0.6 cups?) and whist for 5 minutes.

Oh yeah, and let it cool or top with whipped cream and cinnamon and enjoy hot. feel free to use lactose free alternatives.

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I am lactose intolerant and also lazy

Touching_Grass ,

This is the year I make nog.

variants_of_concern ,

Thank you

florge ,

What’s a double bath?

ArtieShaw ,
@ArtieShaw@kbin.social avatar

Sometimes called a double boiler. It's a small pot that sits over a larger pot of boiling water. The idea is to avoid scalding your food by giving a more gentle heat.

CountVon ,
@CountVon@sh.itjust.works avatar

How can you be sure it’s the eggnog? To rule out other causes you should drink only the eggnog for the next 7 days. Y’know, for science!

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP , (edited )
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

How do you think I know its the eggnog

I get it whenever it is in stock, and whenever I drink it I get explosive diarrhea

I know its not the Milk causing it because it’s, well, lactaid

Wait a second, what if they are lying to me

Edit: I am fairly certain it is in fact lactose free. My current theory is that it has something to do with the large amount of sugar. I think I might be getting almost 60% of my daily value of added sugars and 50% of my daily value of fats in one of the big glasses I drink it out of. If my fiancée finds out I am doing this to my poor arteries, she will be very upset because she made me promise to not die first

Edit 2: I have dramatically underestimated how many servings I have drank today. New ballpark is

  • 80% daily cholesterol
  • 100% daily saturated fats
  • 120% added sugars

IN ONE GLASS

What the fuck have I done

KISSmyOS , (edited )

I get it whenever it is in stock, and whenever I drink it I get explosive diarrhea

Let’s science this out.
First we need to establish cause and effect.

Can you rule out that whatever causes your explosive diarrhea isn’t also making the store stock eggnogg?

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Omg, explosive diarrhea causes Christmas lol

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I just want to know the reason why I am suffering

I will not stop drinki g the eggnog thoug

MJBrune ,

So Lactaid brands still use milk. If you are allergic to dairy and aren’t just lactose intolerant you will still have the same problems as drinking regular milk.

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP ,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

My current theory is that I’m getting to taco bell effect from the eggnog. Didn’t realize until looking at the label about an hour ago, but it’s got an insane concentration of added sugars, cholesterol, and saturated fats. I drank half the carton today (well, yeaterday) qnd if my mental math is right I’ve gotten 80% of my daily cholesterol, 100% of my daily saturated fats, and 120% of my daily added sugars. If my fiancée found out, she would be so upset because she made me promise that I wouldn’t die first

MJBrune ,

Oh you drank that much? I limit myself to a glass per sitting otherwise the same thing happens. It’s great tasting but enjoy it slower instead of gulping.

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling OP , (edited )
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

THAT WAS ONE GLASS

I mean, it was a large glass, but the whole carton is only one pint. I don’t usually drink all of it in one sitting.

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