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UlyssesT ,

When I was an edgy and cynical generic college liberal, I once said “Hello. How would you like to join me for a predictable ‘eat or drink something’ ritual that implies politely that I am sexually attracted to you?” very-intelligent

It worked for a brief relationship, but still. Not exactly strong foundations were laid with that. cringe

aaaaaaadjsf ,
@aaaaaaadjsf@hexbear.net avatar

That’s such a Bazinga type pickup line lmao

UlyssesT ,

Yes, it was. soypoint-1

Ashtefere ,

Watching team America at the movies, leaned over to my date and said “I promise I will never die”

Worked a treat!

Helix ,

“I shat in my bed, can I sleep in yours?”

siewyuk ,

Amber Heard, is that you?

mar_k ,
@mar_k@hexbear.net avatar

In high school, I dm’d a guy in my class “you’re handsome bro”

His response was something like, “you too man I appreciate it!”

We both assumed each other were straight after that, but like a week before graduation, he randomly tells me he had a crush on me. And when I tell him I felt the same, he was like “damn I assumed that DM was probably only a compliment”

gamer ,

Lost opportunity for love because he ignored the “no homo” rule. Tragic.

jscummy ,

Does this guy think straight men often slide into the DMs to tell other men they’re handsome?

infamousbelgian ,

In a man vie theater: STFU to a girl a row behind me. It worked.

siewyuk ,

I don’t get it. He told her to STFU? And she liked it and was “picked up”?

infamousbelgian ,

Sorry, lots of typos in previous message.

So yes, I was in a cinema and told a girl to stfu. Next day she saw me in a bar, recognized me and was like: “fuck that, you told me to stfu. It was you.” We dated for a month or so.

cwagner ,

Want to come to my place and drink mead?

It wasn’t meant as a pick up line, I simply wanted to drink mead with someone without paying bar prices. Worked out that way, though.

siewyuk ,

Did she turn up dressed like a 15 century tavern wench?

cwagner ,

No, but that is stuff she would wear on other occassions, being into ren fairs ;)

Pratai ,

Me: Have you ever had your bellybutton kissed?

Her: Yes, of course I have.

Me: From the inside?

It didn’t work, but she laughed.

peter ,
@peter@feddit.uk avatar

My immediate thought was pregnancy

AOCapitulator ,
@AOCapitulator@hexbear.net avatar

yeah what is this supposed to imply?

rikudou ,

That he wanted to crawl into her vagina and bite his way through to the belly button? IDK, I’m not a belly-button fetishist.

joelfromaus ,
@joelfromaus@aussie.zone avatar

Maybe we just found the account of an alien chestburster.

CmdrShepard ,

They’re a cunning limguist.

UlyssesT ,

Not sure if chefs-kiss or volcel-judge

:WhyNotBoth:

clumsyninza ,

Can someone explain this ?

Thavron ,
@Thavron@lemmy.ca avatar

At a club, I just asked her “Wanna make out?” and we did. Very weird that worked.

Maven ,
@Maven@lemmy.world avatar

I use this a lot and people seem to appreciate the honesty.

jet ,

I feel like we need to add the extra constraint to the question, and worked. What’s the worst pick up line you ever used that worked.

NielsBohron ,
@NielsBohron@lemmy.world avatar

Naw, I think this is better. I’ve seen the “… and worked” version of this question lots of times, but I want the actual bottom of the barrel this time.

Don’t get me wrong; “… and worked” still yields funny answers every time, but this is more interesting to me.

PopcornPrincess ,

Not a line per say but my friend and I were shooting pool against 2 dudes randomly. One serenaded us with Bruno Mars “Just the Way You Are.” A short while after he randomly proceeded to guess both of our weights very incorrectly. lol I guess we made him a nervous.

homoludens ,

FYI: it’s per se

ZagamTheVile ,

Not a pick up line but- “I don’t think I can do better than you and I know you can’t do better than me, so I guess we should just get married.” She sighed and said “yeah, you’re probably right”.

PopcornPrincess ,

Did you get together??

ZagamTheVile ,

Yeah. Been together for like 20 years now.

PopcornPrincess ,

Hell yeah. Nice.

Mewtwo ,
@Mewtwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone avatar

You both sound like a solid 5

ZagamTheVile ,

Hey now. On a good day and if you squint, I could pass as a 6. Maybe 6.5.

vis4valentine OP ,
@vis4valentine@lemmy.ml avatar

I dont wanna shit on you, but the “I cant do better than you” is sweet and I used it with my BF, but the “You can’t do better than me” is many times used by abusive partners as a way to diminish their self-esteem and make sure that they dont leave them, because they really think they cant do better than their current abusive partner.

I believe you said it with the best intentions, but is something that people does.

ZagamTheVile ,

Yeah, I hear you but context is important. She’s good and safe, so am I. We have 2 kids together, been together for 20 years, have ducks, a rabbit, share all expenses and income exactly 50/50 and have had each others back through the worst of other people.

Syndic ,

I’m not shitting on you, but “we have ducks” has to be the funniest justification why the relationship isn’t abusive I’ve seen yet.

ZagamTheVile ,
janonymous ,

Well, you convinced me!

clumsyninza ,

The second picture looks like it’s generated by AI

ZagamTheVile ,

It’s the red heat lamp. They gotta be kept warm for a few weeks and it makes our living room look like Kramers apartment.

PaulSmackage ,
@PaulSmackage@hexbear.net avatar

“Hey, you like Rob Zombie movies?” (We have been together for 7 years now.)

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

“Did you know you can save 15% or more by switching to Geico?”

Dirt_Owl ,

Bingus bongus I want your shlongus

(It still worked)

rikudou ,

I once tried the most cliche of them all - did it hurt when you fell from heaven. She actually found it funny. In the sense that it’s so stupid that it flips around and becomes funny. Nothing ever came of it but we had a nice chat on the otherwise empty train.

Duchess ,
@Duchess@yiffit.net avatar

imo the purpose of those cheesy lines is more to break the ice and get your prospective partner to laugh and loosen up rather than to swoon them, sounds like it worked to me.

unsaid0415 ,

imo the purpose of those cheesy lines is more to break the ice […] rather than to swoon them

wait so you guys actually get to continue the conversation after saying the line?

Duchess ,
@Duchess@yiffit.net avatar

Me? Definitely not lmao. I met my current and only partner on a discord server for depressed people and we bonded over being weird shut ins

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