How do you feel you've aged?

Alice , 27 minutes ago

In my 20s I got really optimistic about aging. See I was unschooled and never really had any life outside my home life, which wasn’t great. Didn’t get a high school diploma and starting my first job felt impossible.

Soon I made a group of friends, I discovered art, and I felt like I was capable of learning and growing and having a fulfilling life. I actually looked forward to being 30 because I thought I’d have matured a lot and learned how to live.

30 now. My friends were toxic. I lost my passion for art. I can’t find any work outside of retail and I can’t get an education because I’m so busy making ends meet. I feel like I’ve regressed into the worst version of my shut-in child self. I work and I get what sleep I can and I have no relationships.

I really hope this is part of the process.

shinigamiookamiryuu , 1 hour ago

I’m only 24 yet can see by now where the crochetiness comes from.

hanrahan , 2 hours ago

As I’ve watched the continued and utter destruction of our natural habitat, the increased pollution and started reading up on climate changes effects and Limits to Growth I realised I didn’t want to be part of what was happenig and wanted to distance myself as much as possible from the people who were. Being surrounded by people and things that make you sick in the mind and body is not what I wanted. It did take a near death experience to catalyse the thoughts into actions though.

I had a change of life about 25 years ago, am now 57. I quit my job, my wife at the time didn’t want to take that journey with me, so got divorced. Now have a parter who does, live frugally (which I always mostly have, just back then I had lots of surplus income I invested, now only a little surplus income from said investments) and am debt free in a little cottage in a small town. A few missteps along the way, as I am not the all seeing eye.

Looking back my regret was not doing it sooner, never been brave I guess ?

Interesting segue, my next door neighbour is a recently retired crane operator who installed windfarms with mega cranes and before that was a lawyer and before that emigrated from another country.

Drusas , 2 hours ago

I'm essentially the same but with more wisdom/experience, less anxiety, and worse health.

Emmie , 4 hours ago

Age of empires

cashmaggot OP , 2 hours ago

Addiction issues, I see =P!

JadenSmith , 4 hours ago

I have much less wonder now, and it is ruining my day to day enjoyment at times. It is hard to dream big when you know more about the world, and how corrupt it all can be. They call it depression, but when reasons are provided for lack of opportunities it’s seen as downright shameful to be upset about it.

I miss the times when I was more naive about the world, it made it all interesting.

shreddy_scientist , 31 minutes ago

Arnold H. Glasow basically covered this indirectly when he said “the fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion.”

Mothra , 5 hours ago

Most tastes and values stay the same. I feel less emotional intensity and motivation for everything though, for better or worse.

Mentally, learning is harder, thinking is slower.

Physically I will get sore more and more easily if I don’t stretch and exercise, but by the same token I am in a better state of fitness than ten years ago.

MajorHavoc , 5 hours ago

Are you radically different than your younger self?

Oh yes. Younger me was an intolerable little shit.

Are there key elements that have stayed the same? > Most parts?

Lots of stuff. Getting older is mostly additive, hobby wise. I’m just worse at all the physical aspects of each hobby.

Do you feel as if you’ve followed the “roadmap of life” or forged your own path?

I had a pretty clear plan and stuck to it. Make the pretty beep beep computer box dance, and charge people money for doing so.

Have there been “chapters” or do things all sort of slide into one contiguous flow?

Definitely separate chapters. 0-2: Literally full of shit. 2-22: Full of shit, because I didn’t know any better. 22-32: Full of shit, but working on improving. 32-42: Getting my shit together. 42-62: Still full of shit, after all that effort. 62-Dead: Probably still full of shit, honestly. Hopefully in a fun way, by now.

bleistift2 , 6 hours ago

At the end of my 20s I can feel that I’m becoming stupider. Reading texts or just thinking about a problem take more effort than they used to.

j4k3 , 6 hours ago

I feel like I’ve been hit by a couple of SUV’s and only barely able to claim to be in my 30’s. A few years ago I had an xray done and was in a room waiting for a doctor. This random guy walked in and asked my name, age, and if I had just had my scapula xrayed. He said He had to double check that nothing had been mixed up because my bones looked like someone in their 80’s… Maybe avoid actually getting hit by those SUV’s. My folks are in their mid to upper sixties, but I’m still the slower crochety one, unless I’m on a bike. For all you mid to old farts, there is a reason so many of us are on bikes. It may seem impossible, hell, I can barely sit up or walk, but it is amazing how bad of shape a person can be in and still ride a bike when it is properly setup and fit to the person. Without riding I fall apart both physically and mentally.

In other news, I expected the logarithm of day length verses lifespan to level out so that days seemed like a stable unit of mental measure, but the slowdown never happened and a day is an impossibly short amount of time.

cashmaggot OP , 6 hours ago

That's fucking miserable. Jesus christ? Genetics!?!? Idk. I mean what do you even do in this situation? I know they fix that shoulder joint. But idk if they fix that back part. But Jesus! I can't see your name when replying but you wouldn't magically happen to be that person that I talked to in the dancing molecules article chit-chat? Cause if you are, and you're still lined up for surgery god bless. If not, and there is some kinda treatment I hope somebody's got your back and you've got a little time you can point towards that. Ooph. This hurt to read.

j4k3 , 5 hours ago (edited 2 hours ago)

Thanks

scytale , 6 hours ago

My knees and lower back remind me that I’ve aged.

cashmaggot OP , 6 hours ago

Just the other day I had to help my gal who is actually super, super active but reached down to move something (what? I can't remember) and just ended up lying on the floor because she pulled her back. Was sad =(! Is always sad, pertaining to everyone. Oh, backs!

sharkfucker420 , 6 hours ago

The bigoted version of me from 10 years ago would be shocked to know he is queer and a socialist

eldavi , 2 hours ago

closet case me would have his mind blown to know that there are classically beautiful men that are into average looking chubby bears; i regret not enjoying myself in my 20’s every time i get to envy all the 20 somethings enjoying themselves to their fullest at the clubs.

at least it’s fun to enjoy it vicariously as i watch them have fun. lol

FlashMobOfOne , 6 hours ago

Early 40’s and often get mistaken for early 30’s. I think I’m doing pretty okay on the aging front. Having a daily skin care regimen from a young age works wonders.

The hair’s starting to gray though, so we’ll see how long it lasts.

cashmaggot OP , 6 hours ago

A fun-tastic little shit blow-up I had two seconds ago at a certain pizza human showed me that even though I age I am still the same little shit throwing monkey. There's a super indulgent breakup song called Keep Your Name where the singer points out that his ex was changing and he's always just felt the same. To be honest, no matter what I've been through I always just seem to be the same. Same! Me - I don't know if that means I have just an absolutely solid sense of self, I am a wretched asshole, or there's just all types in this world. And yes, I understand that people change no matter what. That's life, you will change as you grow. Things will be added, things will be taken, and some stuff transforms. But I have a habit of writing out lists of things that I want and the overarching themes and idealisms have always been the same. Even my diet, while shifting here and there - always seems to be based off the same set wants (I am a chronic veggie lover, it's really a problem). I have always found this very funny as a whole, because I cannot stay static as a person. Not sure if you're heard (or figured it out) but I am ADHD as fuck. And even medicated, I crave that sweet, sweet chaos of change. Yet I seem to be me -> being me -> being me -> being me. It boggles my mind. Shrugs?

LastoftheDinosaurs , 5 hours ago

I love embracing change, but there are some things I still find challenging, particularly when it comes to forming close relationships. A lot of how I react and behave today is shaped by my early experiences. Growing up, ADHD wasn’t well understood, leading to harsh and toxic reactions from my own family. Facing constant verbal and sometimes physical abuse meant I had to learn how to defend myself from a very young age. This environment forced me to develop a quick, strong response to conflict—a mechanism that’s become a part of how I assert myself today. Even though I’ve grown a lot and tried to adopt healthier ways to handle stress, my defiant nature can still emerge when I’m under pressure. This often leads me to push people away before they can get too close, as a way to protect myself from potential hurt or betrayal.

Recognizing and working through this is a big part of my journey towards healing. I’m trying to understand these behaviors and, hopefully, change them for the better. However, it’s been a struggle to shake the feeling that I might not be capable of being truly loved, given how ingrained these defensive responses have become. My journey through life has been marked by significant challenges that have both shaped and tested me:

As a child, I faced severe misunderstandings about my ADHD. This chaotic environment, marked by multiple interventions by Child Protective Services (CPS), taught me to be fiercely independent and self-reliant. These qualities, while helping me navigate many of life’s challenges, have also made it difficult for me to form close personal relationships.

Due to these experiences, I find it challenging to follow instructions or requests without fully understanding the reasons behind them. This need for clarity and purpose is deeply rooted in my early years, where confusion and lack of understanding led to significant consequences. If I don’t see the logic or purpose behind an action, my immediate response is to question or resist it, a defense mechanism developed to protect myself from the unpredictability I faced during my formative years.

During my teen years, I faced continual challenges with acceptance both at home and at school, which eventually led to legal issues and incarceration. However, my release from detention became a pivotal moment for me. I met mentors who guided me toward a more positive direction, ultimately inspiring me to enlist in the Army.

My early to mid-20s brought some stability through the structured environment of military life. It was also during this period that I began sharing my life with a partner, learning about balance and mutual support in a relationship. While I had no problem getting close to others, my challenge often came in the form of defiance, a trait deeply rooted in my need to assert independence and protect myself from past vulnerabilities.

As I transitioned into my mid to late 20s, I moved into civilian life and pursued my passion for technology. This phase was crucial in building my self-esteem, as I found success and fulfillment in my career. However, my personal life sometimes struggled to keep pace due to my guarded nature, which often made me hesitant to fully open up in relationships.

My early to mid-30s marked a period of career advancement and significant life changes, including a major move supported by a new job. This time allowed me to establish myself professionally, but it also brought personal challenges. The death of my father and the impacts of the pandemic were profound, testing my emotional resilience and forcing me to confront and manage new waves of grief and stress.

Recently, I’ve dealt with professional burnout and personal loss, prompting a move back to St. Louis for a period of reassessment and new beginnings. This has given me a chance to reflect on my life and the patterns that have defined my relationships. Each chapter of my life has taught me about resilience, adaptation, and the importance of staying true to oneself. My life hasn’t been easy, but these experiences have shaped me into a more resilient and empathetic person. I’m still learning to navigate the complexities of love and intimacy, hoping to one day fully believe that I am worthy of being loved just as deeply as anyone else.

I started going to therapy, but then I lost my job. I’m planning to go back ASAP.

xmunk , 6 hours ago

Honestly, I’m now excellent at what I do and have confidence in that but, as I wander through my upper thirties, I’m not really feeling much different than my mid twenties.

cashmaggot OP , 6 hours ago

I heard someone say thirties are the new twenties. I don't know if they're saying that because life expectancy went up (I think it came back down since then?) or because they were being catchy like a Cosmo article. But I am super glad your hard work paid off, because nothing is lovelier than mastery =)!

will_a113 , 2 hours ago

I think they say this because they’re in their 30s now and would prefer to still be in their 20s (saying that as a 40 is the new 30 guy)

tamal3 , 1 hour ago (edited 1 hour ago)

I’m living that way bc the economy was so bad in my 20s, and I feel like I’ve missed out. Couldn’t afford a house, or kids, or travel. I’m doing a little better now but a decade passed without me having many options.