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Why was I crying???

There’s this guy in my neighbourhood who apparently I find very attractive 😂 I didn’t realize that until recently, I always avoided him until one day I had to talk to him and I turned red and started smiling like an idiot.

This happened twice and both times, when I got home, I started crying… not because of what happened, but it felt as if I was losing something??

All I know about this “reaction” is that this guy isn’t my usual type, I just find him physically attractive and when I get home I cry and think about those guys I actually felt a lot for (mostly platonically) and it hurts 🤕 wtf

And today I was almost telling myself to “stay on track”??? Like thinking about the others and thinking “that’s the life you want, that’s what would make you happy” and just wishing this didn’t have such an effect on me.

jbrains ,

Why do you wish that this didn’t have such an effect on you? I wonder less about your reaction and more about the story you’re telling yourself about that reaction, such as “it’s not OK for me to react this way”.

Redfox8 ,

Are you conflicted about finding someone you rationality don’t find attracted to, attractive? Does it feel like you’d loose your life as you currently know it, should you end up in a relationship with them because they’re so different, resulting in you loosing those other people you refer to?

You sound like you understand the differences between both people well so that’s good. Our hormones are crazy things that throw all sorts of emtions at us! Maybe try to see this as an exercise in finding/securing what you want in life, what people etc. You clearly see this other person as not your type ultimately, but they still have that ‘thing’ that makes you a bit giddy! Enjoy it for its silliness, safe that you know you’re highly unlikely to actually choose them! :)

morrowind ,
@morrowind@lemmy.ml avatar

My best guess is the primitive part of your brain (which is attracted to this guy) is fighting your rational part which says you’d be better off long term spending your energy on the other guys. Brain doesn’t like cognitive dissonance

But it’s really just a guess

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