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What’s your best Essex Girl joke?

I from the US, just learned about these today, and had a chuckle.

an essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. it was her boyfriend, urgently warning her “treacle, i just heard on the news that theres a car going the wrong way on the A13. please be careful!” “its not just one car!” said the essex girl “theres hundreds of them!”

CrabAndBroom ,

Why don’t they ever do the Christmas nativity in Essex?

They can’t find three wise men or a virgin.

GombeenSysadmin ,

How many Essex girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Essex girls screw in Capris.

Which goes to show how old these jokes are.

PowerCrazy ,

It seems like these are just “blond jokes” from the 80’s or recycled jokes about 2nd-gen feminists in america. I have no doubt they have their roots in misogyny.

CeruleanRuin ,

The fact that it’s usually women doing the dumb thing is problematic, but these jokes are easily mapped onto whoever you want to denigrate. As a Montana, these were often jokes about North Dakota, and as the scion of a large Norwegian clan, I also often heard these as Sven and Ole jokes.

To me the latter is actually a funnier way to approach them, because it’s two characters who everyone knows are dumb (and who are stand-ins for those people in your life who act this way) and you’re not just blanket insulting a whole group of people.

utubas ,

Holy shit it’s a joke. You take the fun out of everything, if you don’t like it that’s ok, just shut up

anothermember ,

An Essex girl is involved in a car crash and is trapped and bleeding. The paramedics soon arrive on the scene.

Medic: “I’m a paramedic and I’m going to ask you some questions. OK?”

Girl: “OK”

Medic: “what’s your name?”

Girl: “Sharon”

Medic: “OK Sharon, is this your car?”

Sharon: “yes”

Medic: “where are you bleeding from?”

Sharon: “Romford, mate.”

(I was born in Essex so I think I’m allowed to tell these :p)

Smite6645 ,

Not from the UK - why is it Essex in particular?

UKFilmNerd ,
@UKFilmNerd@feddit.uk avatar

The only one that I remember is,

How can you tell when an Essex girl has had an orgasm?

She drops her packet of crisps.

Seems a bit rubbish now I’ve typed that out. 😆

Nemo ,

So, Sven & Ole jokes but with the English flavor of classism?

Pandantic ,
@Pandantic@midwest.social avatar

So these are the equivalent of blonde jokes?

bionicjoey ,

Are these basically like “dumb blonde” jokes in America?

GreyShuck ,
@GreyShuck@feddit.uk avatar

Hell, that’s going back a way. I don’t think that I have heard one of those since the 90s. They really haven’t aged well - not that they were exactly the height of PC humour back then.

What’s the difference between a shopping trolley and an Essex girl?

A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

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