My mom knows that I absolutely do not want kids. Like, the idea of being a parent makes me feel physically ill. She is still hoping that she’ll get grandchildren. Last time she told me she’s still hopeful that I’ll change my mind, I got rude and told her to fuck off with that shit. I told her that she needs to keep that kind of thing to herself and that telling me that repeatedly feels very disrespectful.
That was about 6 months ago. She hasn’t brought it up since. This branch of the family tree ends with me and that’s totally fine imo. Everything has to end eventually. My mom’s in total denial about that fact.
This happened to me in the USA. I told the doctor I want to be sterilized and neither my husband nor I wanted kids.
He told me it would be unethical. My husband might die and then my new husband would want children. I told him I would not change my mind, and such a man would be incompatible for marriage with me. He told me I’d change my mind. So basically, yes some hypothetical future man would want to use me for a baby factory, that’s why I can’t be sterilized.
I was 30. I’m older now, still don’t want them. I’m too ashamed to ask again for sterilization. My husband has a vasectomy scheduled soon (weird how a doctor had no problem doing that for him. Wonder what the difference is???)
I think the doctor thinks of your husband as a baby factory manager and as he wants the baby factory out of operation it is his choice. Now if he died a new manager could start up the factory again. I know this is extremely fucked up and there is no reason you should not be able to get sterilised but it is a fucked up world we live in.
Easier said than done, anyway. I was just shocked he said that. I’m sure if I wanted his statement in writing he would have written something like “I don’t recommend this for women who have not yet had children because there are plenty of other effective treatments like [etc]” and nobody would care.
Someone at my work was told something similar by a different doctor (in a different state!) that he wouldn’t sterilize her because she wasn’t married. She had 3 children already in her mid twenties.
Pushing back on this stuff is a battle that shouldn’t have to take place on the personal level. We’re going backwards in women’s healthcare in America, too.
Probably because some n-eyes (is n still 5?) nation state "we're the good guys, honest" protocol insisted that there be one. And if it wasn't that it was probably some misguided attempt to permit remote maintenance.
The former hiding as the latter is not impossible either.
My guess is it’s much simpler: some genius at Fujitsu thought it would be helpful if they could remotely log in to machines for support reasons. They (unreasonably) didn’t want to send people onsite and they (reasonably) didn’t think Post Office workers would be able to resolve issues over the phone.
People literally committed suicide over the hounding by the Post Office. People have gone to jail for encouraging suicide. People go to jail for false statements to the police and the court.
Executives get golden parachutes and incompetent contractors keep getting contracts.
Former Post Office executive Angela van den Bogerd has said executives did not “cover up” knowledge that the computers of sub-postmasters could be accessed remotely.Despite “a slew” of emails referring to the possibility of remote access to the Horizon IT system used in branches, Ms van den Bogerd had not challenged Post Office statements denying a back door, a lawyer said at an inquiry into the scandal.But she said she had not been attempting to suppress information.Earlier she told the inquiry that she “didn’t knowingly do anything wrong”.The Post Office asserted in hundreds of wrongful prosecutions of sub-postmasters that they must have been to blame for shortfalls in accounts, which were calculated using the Horizon IT system.The prosecutions, between 1999 and 2015, saw people go to prison, while many others were left financially ruined and lost their jobs, businesses and homes.
Some died while waiting for justice.In certain key cases, such as the landmark Bates vs Post Office, the organisation insisted that the Horizon software could not be accessed remotely by any other party.As part of that case, Ms van den Bogerd told the High Court in March 2019 that she first knew about remote access “in the last year or so”.But Jason Beer, lead counsel to the inquiry, said on Thursday: "That’s false isn’t it?
"Ms van den Bogerd was heavily depicted in the ITV drama which thrust the Post Office scandal back into the spotlight, played by Coronation Street actress Katherine Kelly.Ms van den Bogerd said in her witness statement to the inquiry that she was not aware of remote access to accounts until 2011.The inquiry was shown a series of emails that Ms van den Bogerd received from 2010 to 2014 about remote access to Horizon.A December 5 2010 email sent to her by Lynn Hobbs, the organisation’s general manager of network support, said she had “found out that Fujitsu can actually put an entry into a branch account remotely”.But Ms van den Bogerd told the inquiry she didn’t “actually remember” getting this.She also got emails in 2011 and 2014 telling her about the possibility of remote access.But in 2014 Post Office communications professional Melanie Corfield sent an email to several Post Office executives, including Ms van den Bogerd.It read: “Our current line, if we’re asked about remote access being used to change branch data or transactions, is simply ‘this is not and has never been possible’.
Or is it that the overriding objective is to defend, very robustly, the position that there is no remote access?”
he said.Ms van den Bogerd said “that was never my position” and that "I was certainly not trying to cover up or suppress, or do anything along those lines, and that’s the bit I’m struggling with, because it wasn’t just me - there are other people being party to the same information at that point.
"Ms van den Bogerd confirmed to Mr Beer that Fujitsu had not been “transparent” with her and the Post Office, and also agreed that executives had been trying to control the narrative by using the words “exception or anomaly” to describe bugs or defects in the Horizon system.Ms van den Bogerd held various roles throughout her 35-year career at the Post Office, rising to head of network services, head of partnerships, director of support services and director of people and change.
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