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marshant

@[email protected]

(they/them) technical author by trade, linguist by training, sewist for fun, campaigner on a bike. ADHD, agender, US immigrant in Scotland, Quaker, parent to 2 small humans. Uczę się polskiego. Agus beagan gaidhlig agam!

Profile image is me using the ASL hand sign for "I love you".

Banner image is a child's drawing of a figure riding a cargo bike with another smaller figure on the back. The artist describes the image as "It's me on the back of your bike!"

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Richard_Littler , to actuallyadhd
@Richard_Littler@mastodon.social avatar

I've been trying to learn German for years but progress is glacially slow. Sometimes it's like trying to nail water to the wall; it just doesn't stick. Anyone else with an , or diagnosis have issues with second language acquisition? Is it a neurodivergent 'thing'?
Or is it simply that I'm not very good at picking up languages?

@actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd

marshant ,
@marshant@mastodon.scot avatar

@Richard_Littler @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd I'm ADHD and, despite studying linguistics at uni and being a tech author, am shockingly bad at learning languages. I struggle with recalling the words I need even in my native English, which I attribute to my ADHD, and it's worse for my non-native languages. I can get there, but it's very, very slow language acquisition, and I usually give up long before fluency.

shiri , to actuallyadhd

You know what's great to learn at 38, right before bedtime one night, after a whole life time of struggle...

That your mother traumatized you with ADHD to the point where actually pushing myself against ADHD is a trigger... making it so no amount of coping skills can help me push myself for any real length of time...

I'd try and do something that requires a push, even a little one... and be crying... and I thought it was just the feeling of hitting my dopamine... but nooooo... now I'm unpacking that it was me getting triggered at the feeling of pushing my reserves at all...

That explains so damn much and makes me feel so damn hurt and angry...

I was forced to push myself so far so often as a kid and she didn't ever relent when I was critically over-extended on dopamine... usually around cleaning. I'm remembering so many times crying and sobbing on the floor because she demanded I clean to an extreme standard and I wasn't allowed to do anything else until I met her approval...

And I've been running my whole life fucking kneecapped by this... I thought I just had it worse than most (with ADHD) on my ability to push myself on tasks... but no... it's because I realize now I can't fucking push myself at all because my fucking brain just jumps straight to that extreme pain and trauma right away...

Now I'm fucking crying when I should be trying to sleep...


@adhd @actuallyadhd

marshant ,
@marshant@mastodon.scot avatar

@shiri @adhd @actuallyadhd i spent a sizeable portion of my childhood shut in my room with "you're not coming out until it's clean!" And without guidance on how to clean it.

I push through hard things like this as an adult with the mantra "something is better than nothing" and just chip away at things.

And I sit with my kids when cleaning their room, talk through my process and coach them. That's been really healing, coaching my kids and also my ADHD friends; it's like re-parenting myself!

mariyadelano , to actuallyadhd
@mariyadelano@hachyderm.io avatar

Question for fellow @actuallyautistic and @actuallyadhd neurodivergent folks:

How do you explain your ideas to neurotypicals?

I constantly struggle because my brain has made connections that are not obvious to others, and when I try to guide them through my thinking I confuse them with details or by skipping explanations that seem obvious to me but completely surprising to anyone else.

Frameworks, links, anything is appreciated!

marshant ,
@marshant@mastodon.scot avatar

@pathfinder @mariyadelano @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd this, exactly, I start with the conclusion, a comment to "bear with me here" and THEN go back to the beginning with the low level stuff. Now that they have context (my conclusion), it makes more sense to them.

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