dandelion

dandelion , 1 hour ago

Hey, just wanted to dig in deeper about the second recommendation. The two books you mention are pop self-help books. You mentioned you wanted something about how to connect to people on a respectful level. Are your goals like learning psychological tips and tricks for navigating social situations (like knowing that people like hearing their name repeated to them, or that leaning in towards someone conveys you are engaged and listening, etc.)?

I’m not sure if I have a book recommendation, I just wanted to get clear on exactly what kind of book you wanted. I worry that pop self-help books may not be the best route to help you with your goal, whatever it is, but there might be other books that could help.

dandelion , 1 hour ago

For entry, easy to read sci-fi that is positive or utopian, I think the author Ursula K. LeGuin is an obvious choice.

Maybe start with https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dispossessed.

dandelion , 1 hour ago

Most classrooms already have policies about not using your mobile phone, as in general students are supposed to be paying attention to lectures. Students are already sneaking their phone usage during class. I don’t see the connection between mobile phone use and violence, though. I don’t think the Trump or Uvalde shootings have anything to do with phones, social media, etc.

I think it makes sense to cancel subscriptions to NYT and to likewise boycott Twitter, but I think that’s just about being a critical consumer in general. It requires collective action and mass movements to make a difference with something like that.

Alienation is a problem in the U.S. and maybe the West in general. Obviously junkies, the unhoused, and refugees are not inferior people, they are merely unfortunate people. Our society does stigmatize and dehumanize them, however. Random and unprovoked violence against all three of those groups are more common. But this is also true for women, racial minorities, sexual minorities, etc. Did you have thoughts on how to repair the alienation, dehumanization, etc.?

dandelion , 1 hour ago

Hi! I know this might just be the wrong context at this point as you are already getting flak, but I was curious and wanted to ask why you have exclusive sexual interest in cis women?

For example I would imagine some heterosexual cis men would have a hard time dating a trans woman who haven’t had bottom surgery or who are early in their transition (in which case sometimes the sexual preference is phrased as a genital preference rather than about exclusively dating cis people).

Some women who for various reasons pass well as cis are not distinguishable from cis women, and in that case I assume based on your statement you still would have a hard time dating that person if you found out they were trans.

For example, based on your statement I assume you wouldn’t date or be attracted to Nava Mau.

I understand if you don’t want to answer, it’s not like this is the best context and it is a vulnerable topic - just wanted to extend an olive branch in case you wanted to talk and think about it with less judgement.

dandelion , 1 hour ago

Interesting. Well, first - thanks for being an ally!!

It does seem like trans folks have a pretty rough road in most societies, and predictably that leads to poor mental health outcomes. The statistics about how well a trans person does post-transition has a lot to do with whether they are accepted by their family and friends. (Mental health issues are also common before transition while closeted, or not-yet aware of being trans, which might have biological as well as social / psychological reasons behind it.)

It also makes sense you might not personally know trans women you are attracted to as there are far fewer trans folks compared to cis folks; though, it sounds like you were even able to list a trans woman you do find attractive.

Digging into that more, if there were someone who had the right personality and looked like Jaime Clayton, would being trans be a deal-breaker for pursuing a relationship with that person? I guess I wonder if it’s really being trans that is the problem for you, or if this is just a short-hand for a bunch of other traits that in practice just make you less likely to be attracted.

I ask because at this point it sounds like you would be pretty open to dating trans women who you find attractive (personality and looks wise), but that it is more practical reality that you just aren’t attracted to most trans women (probably for a variety of reasons).

Does that seem right, or am I off base here?

dandelion , 1 hour ago

I second Extraordinary Attorney Woo, what a wholesome and heart-warming show!!

dandelion , 1 hour ago

Lots of classic films are not English, e.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seventh_Seal.

dandelion , 3 months ago

exactly; there will always be piracy as long as piracy is needed, a post-piracy world is a utopia, even in the worst dystopia people find ways to “pirate”

dandelion , 3 months ago

So, back in 2001 the head of the Organization for the Prohibition of Chemical Weapons (OPCW) managed to get weapons inspectors into Iraq which pissed off the U.S. because it undermined their justification of the invasion.

In response John Bolton told the head of the OPCW:

You have 24 hours to leave the organization, and if you don’t comply with this decision by Washington, we have ways to retaliate against you. … We know where your kids live. You have two sons in New York.

Here’s an article about it.

dandelion , 3 months ago

Those words can mean those things, but communism is also used to describe a political system. After all, part of the definition of communism is statelessness which is entirely about the politics and not the economics (source).

Also, just as democracy might be used to describe a political system, it commonly taken to mean liberal democracy, and thus in most contemporary contexts implies an economic system of capitalism.

So I just think it depends on the context what people mean by these terms. Of course you can try to define communism only in economic terms, but since the term is so abused and “inflated” it’s hard to claim it has any singular or absolute meaning.

Depending on who you are talking to, communism has practically opposite meanings, for example, in public schools in the U.S. they teach that communism is when all economic activity is controlled by a centralized state, which is ironically the exact opposite of how Marx defined communism.

The same can be said of democracy.

dandelion , 3 months ago

I’m out of the loop - who is the person with the “Plus” hat? Maybe the same person as in this meme?

dandelion , 3 months ago

Thank you! Is there a reason Dale Earnhardt is in these memes? Is he a leftist Nascar driver? (Maybe your video will answer my questions, but I don’t have the time to watch an hour long video essay right now, though I’m quite interested and hope to in the future, thanks for the link!)

I see he died in 2001, so all the reasons I could think of as to why he’s in two memes representing the Left are falling short …

dandelion , 3 months ago

omg 🤦‍♀️

dandelion , 4 months ago

No, unfortunately she did not finish Parable of the Trickster before her death. :-(

dandelion , 4 months ago

I tend to be a slow reader and it can take me a long time to finish a book, but Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five and Cormac McCarthy’s The Road are two books that gripped me such that I basically spent every waking moment reading the book until I finished (I think in both cases I finished the books in less than 24 hours).

dandelion , 4 months ago

I don’t think anyone has recommended the Mars trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson yet.

dandelion , 4 months ago

I’ve read both Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, and while you can tell the general arc she was going for with the next book (and can imagine the broad strokes of what would happen next), I never felt there was a lack of closure for the story.

They are emotionally difficult books to read, so it’s also hard to recommend them to people, but I would encourage you to not let the lack of a third book prevent you from reading the first two, they are worth reading on their own merits. The Parable of the Talents especially has significance to the situation in the U.S., as some say it predicted Trump.

dandelion , 4 months ago

Definitely worth reading, I remember it being better than the first book.

dandelion , 4 months ago

That’s an interesting perspective, as I have always felt insecure for being a slow reader. I feel like people in my world see it as a sign of being less intelligent, and while I would like to think slower reading helps with my comprehension, I also just feel like it’s not much of a choice for me (I mean, the alternative to slow reading for me would be something other than reading, like scanning; it seems people who can read faster than me are somehow also more competent or intelligent).

dandelion , 4 months ago (edited 4 months ago)

That seems like a wholesome perspective, thanks for sharing it!

People lie because they want people to think they are smart.

I remember when I was a kid, I was amazed by my grandmother who could finish a whole novel in a few sittings across a day or two when she would come and stay with us. I once mustered up the courage to ask her how she learned to read so quickly, and she explained that she doesn’t actually read every word, but just scans for major plot points. I felt silly, and unsure how to respond - it seemed to me she wasn’t reading, but I didn’t want to imply that. lol

She wasn’t trying to appear smart, I think she just didn’t want to suffer the boring parts, so she scanned ahead to the juicy bits. That’s such an interesting and different way of approaching reading than I have, I’ve only recently started to skip an introduction or preface if it didn’t seem crucial to the book, something I would have previously considered antisocial or rougish, haha.

dandelion , 4 months ago

All good points! I have the same tendency to pick up and drop books based on mood and what’s going on in my life. I recently just picked back up Sapolsky’s https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Primate%27s_Memoir which I had abandoned years ago after reading roughly the first half. Picking it back up, I enjoyed it so thoroughly I became a bit avid in my reading and finished the rest of the book in a week or so (which is rather fast paced for me).

I like the metaphor of reading being like listening to the radio. I often feel guilty for dropping books or not powering through (there are many, many books I have read the first quarter or so of and shelved with the intention to finish another time). Probably healthier to have a more free and less “driven” mindset towards reading books.

Sometimes I drop a book because I enjoy it so much I don’t want it to end, I want it to always be there and to relish it later. This is a bit silly - there are always other books, but I also will forget the plot over time and eventually the book will be enough like new that I can enjoy re-reading it.

dandelion , 4 months ago

Yes! I do think it’s usually physical books, and books I have grown overly attached to reading, where I can’t bring myself to finish them.

Asimov’s Foundation trilogy comes to mind, I had a physical copy that had the whole trilogy as one book, and just as the third book was coming to a climax I quit reading it and shelved it. It’s been so long I barely remember the plot now, lol.

dandelion , 4 months ago

I’m in a red state; so far my healthcare has been denied and the new censorship laws targeting education are making me realize I need to flee if at all possible. It will take a lot of time, money, and effort to move, but the writing is on the wall.

dandelion , 4 months ago

thanks for this info, I was wondering why PIA isn’t recommended anymore

dandelion , 4 months ago (edited 4 months ago)

I’m using an ancient Nexus tablet with the Android app “MoonReader” (one of the only apps I have paid for); I would prefer a different setup, to use a FOSS app or not use a tablet, but most physical ereaders seem to have issues with PDFs, no?

I would want something I can just load files on (no walled garden); I currently use syncthing to transfer books to my tablet.

dandelion , 4 months ago

I had to scroll too far to find KeePassXC + syncthing recommended; with syncthing, I see no reason to sacrifice security by using a cloud solution.