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@WestCoastWitch@pagan.plus avatar

WestCoastWitch

@[email protected]

This is my more private account for ms hearth witch <3 If we're moots on the other one and we've interacted a feel free to follow!

Aspiring to be a delightfully cranky combination of Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg.

Practicing a combination of hearthcraft and Irish polytheism in the best way this disabled old body of mine can. Living a Studio Ghibli life.

Devotee of Brighid.

Pfp ID: Me, a pale AF woman with curly brown/red hair wearing a fancy witch hat and a black top.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

WestCoastWitch , to actuallyautistic
@WestCoastWitch@pagan.plus avatar

I need autistic validation, friends. Comments from NT folks unwelcome (self DX is valid here). NT's totally welcome to read along to learn.

Person 1: I might be interested in you, let's explore that.
Person 2 (autistic): Oh sure! I think you're neat and I'm super demi, so let's explore.

explores a bit via chatting and whatnot, then meet for dinner along with some other folks

Person 2: Was really nice to meet you!
Person 1: Yeah, always nice to get together with friends!
more niceties exchanged, chatting about the dinner
Person 1: You know you can ask for clarity any time you want? I'll be nice.
Person 2 (autistic but not an idiot): Uhh, I guess I'll ask if you're still interested?
Person 1: No, I think just friends.

Person 2 - ruminates on this HARD for a long time (days), devotes much brain energy into figure out why this Feels Bad™

Person 2: It feels a lot like manipulation. You putting me into the vulnerable position of having to ask you, instead of just telling me. I don't really want to discuss this at this point, but I just had to tell you it felt bad.

Person 1: I thought I had been clear but you weren't getting it. So I was giving you space to ask for clarity.

Person 2: implodes in autistic fury

A) boundary clearly set: don't want to discuss this with you at this point -> person 1 can't help themselves but respond to defend themselves

B) when has "being really clear" about something meant anything other than JUST SAYING THE THING. Subtext isn't clear, saying the thing is clear.

If it wasn't clear, I'm Person 2 and I'm really angry. At the manipulation and at what feels at least gas-lighting adjacent combined with the boundary violation.

@actuallyautistic

WestCoastWitch OP ,
@WestCoastWitch@pagan.plus avatar

@independentpen @actuallyautistic yeah, I get it. Even if they didn't do it on purpose it was still a way to put me in the position of having to be vulnerable and ask, instead of them just saying what they meant.

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