I love that, in your opinion, calling out What-aboutism is “intellectual dishonesty” but using it is totally OK.
I also love that you say you both answered the question, and also that you didn’t because it was wrong to ask.
This is like me asking you if you’ve stopped beating your wife.
That’s be easy to answer for anyone being honest. It’s either “I never did”, “yes”, or “no”. Someone who want to hide something may not answer the question though, and likely they’ll do something to throw people off, like attacking them for something they did instead (aka, “what about…”). It’s avoiding the question.