“Although we’ve traditionally dedicated 97 percent of our resources to other important services such as contraception distribution, cancer screening, and STD testing, this new complex allows us to devote our full attention to what has always been our true passion: abortion,” said Richards, standing under a banner emblazoned with Planned Parenthood’s new slogan, “No Life Is Sacred.”
EDIT: LOL at y’all calling me stupid. My god, do you really think anyone is dumb enough to fall for a 12-yo Onion article?! That one’s hilariously over-the-top, even for The Onion.
Guess I have to spell out the most obvious joke. Or I could leave it and let you think you’re smarter, feed your self righteousness. Honestly, I’m a bit embarrassed for you guys.