As Lemmy grows, it will attract all kinds of people. And many - e.g. lemmygrad.ml and the person who wrote the Lemmy code to begin with - are outright tankies (as far as I understand that word, it seems to mean: die-hard communists, aka such extreme leftists that they have wrapped around to becoming authoritarian rightists except with left-wing talking points, which ofc they do not see the irony in that, thinking that the correctness of their cause entitles them to act in an identical manner as the “other side” that they purportedly despise).
And like Reddit, some are literal and actual children, or at least younger people, so there’s that to consider.
But aside from all of that, people are people, and that’s just the way it is, I suppose. And even on top of that, sometimes as we dig we find that we have more in common than first appeared, so some of it is pure communication style. e.g. someone saying “let’s not hastily jump to conclusions” and someone saying “hey, we should investigate this!” might be saying the same thing, in a roundabout way. Plus too many react to the “tone” of a message more than its content, and on and on it goes…
All we can do is focus on our own parts that we ourselves have control over:-).