I have studied up a lot on neurodiversity and mental illnesses.
My family just gaslights me constantly. Anytime I display any emotion other than basically nodding and agreeing, I find out later they are describing it as a manic episode to their friends and the rest of the family.
A manic episode is … you know, an episode, as in a sustained period of time with very very heightened emotions, where the subject does not seem to be aware of or able to control their emotions.
I would get excited for a few minutes, describing a breakthrough in coding I made at work… or maybe angry for a few minutes while describing all the apathy I see in society toward the homeless, if not outright hate.
Then back to normal conversation.
But things like that, to them, are manic episodes.
I do not care for them any more.
My dad was a drunk, has always been extremely right wing, is generally unlikeable due to always arguing and never being able to consider that he might be wrong about something, believes in Q Anon insanity, and manufactures firearms in a way he took pride in explaining to me is ‘untraceable’.
My mother does have a neurological condition, and has the emotional maturity and intellectual capacity of an 8 year old.
My brother was a rave kiddie burn out who gave himself serotonin shock syndrome before he turned 21 via waaaay too much MDMA and Ecstasy. He believes shadow people are real, and was constantly trying to force me use hallucinogenic mushrooms while living with him. Oh, and he explained to me how its ‘funny’ to him to joke around with his actually schizophrenic girlfriend by just telling her that the past 30 minutes of events /did not actually happen/ and that she was having a delusion or hallucination. Then he says ‘ah just kidding, love ya babe!’
Me on the other hand got nearly straight As in highschool, went to Uni and got two Bachelor’s Degrees in the time it took 1/3 of my classmates to drop out with nothing. Ive since worked for a large tech firm, a logistics company and that nonprofit, doing data analytics/programming, etc.
So yeah my family are just bad people, and I have no problem with them just assuming I am dead.