I am so surprised to see someone else who has the same kind of “pervasive” thoughts that I do!
For a few years now my brain has been trying to grapple with a very similar intricate web of ideas albeit from a slightly different perspective.
I’ve always been agnostic but all of these thoughts stem from what I would call a spiritual experience where I didn’t see, but FELT, something akin to what you’re describing.
Have you heard of Panpsychism? It’s a philosophical view that’s been around for thousands of years that posits that everything is made up of consciousness. Contrary to the popular belief that consciousness arises from seemingly nowhere, panpsychists think that literally every atom in our universe is a building block of consciousness.
Given this concept, the best way I can describe my spiritual experience is through analogy. Imagine a computer monitor where millions of pixels are changing colors at random. Given an infinite amount of time it’s not too far fetched to imagine that eventually these pixels could align in such a way that the monitor will display a perfect image of your face. Given another infinite amount of time its not too far fetched to imagine that face now smiling or frowning.
I believe that our conscious experience is that thread through infinite time which binds these moments together giving an illusion that they are happening one after the other. Since our universe is governed by laws of physics (at least at our scale) only small “realistic” fluctuations in the image are acceptable.
I have a lot more thoughts on the matter but my wife is rushing us out for breakfast! I absolutely love your post - thanks for the lovely thought experiment.