I agree that is sucks but my advice is purely practical. I try to be principled where I can but email is a lost cause in my opinion. I have hosted my own Mailserver. I encountered providers that only have allow lists and needed me to manually apply to allow my mail in. You have to build a reputation to not be marked as spam. Someone can just submit your domain to a block list and you have to find out how to get removed. It is a mess.
The cold hard truth is that if you want your mail delivered reliably, don’t host yourself.