Me: "Why would people assume ill intent because of being asked questions questions? I thought people liked to be asked questions? Shows interest, makes them the center of attention..."
Other Me: "They don't like them when they assume hidden agendas."
@rachelnabors This has been a constant struggle for me since starting remote work. For two reasons, the first being that Allistic people rarely say what they mean, or give you all the details so I have to ask. The second being that I've got so much experience in my domain that I'm thinking about things they haven't considered & need to make sure they're ok with the consequences they're setting themselves up for if I do what they asked.
Doesn't matter how hard I try to "soften" the questions
@masukomi this sounds super familiar to me. For a long time I assumed that people just didn't like smart women, but then I began to realize that it might be more than just that
@rachelnabors yeah. I don't remember if you've mentioned taking an autism assessment test, but if not: https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/ It's WAY under-diagnosed in AFAB folks. If you're autistic, learning what autistic self-care looks like is literally life-changing.
also the "@actuallyautistic" group regularly has people discussing WTFs they encounter like this. I like it, if for no other reason than being reminded that "it's not just me". ;)