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JimmyBigSausage ,

Project 2025 watch alert

Atelopus-zeteki ,

Streaming "woke" Homophobic Chicken right to your home. Nope.

cyborganism ,

How is homophobic “woke”?

Fish ,

I don’t know. You’ll have to ask the conservatives who were boycotting Chick-Fil-A for being “woke.”

DemocratPostingSucks ,

They’re not paying much per half hour, only $400k, maybe this makes sense lol? They’d only need to make $590k per half hour, which for, say, 50 hours total of original content (it is a chicken restaurant after all) with a $5/mo subscription over five years equates to only 23k subscribers averaged over those five years for an over 8% ROI, which given how many people sign up for these $/mo streaming services doesn’t seem insane.

node_user ,

Guess it’ll be called chick-a-flixOr if its porn. Fil-a-chick

athairmor ,

Net-Chix.

And they’ll be surprised that people cancel after the trial because they couldn’t find any porn.

OhStopYellingAtMe ,
@OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world avatar

It’ll be cooking shows on how to make everything taste like it was soaked in pickle juice for thirty years , and then served up with a side of smug Christian pretension.

mynamesnotrick ,

In my head I imagine it all religious based streaming, like those weird religious channels you can pick up on your tv over the air.

MajorHavoc ,

Oh yeah. I betcha that stuff is “surprisingly” still unlicensed for streaming, and lands there right away.

wittilysarcastic ,

But will they stream on Sundays?

Badeendje ,
@Badeendje@lemmy.world avatar

Besides the fact nobody wants this, With who’s content?

Corvid ,

Their own original content apparently 🤣

WhatAmLemmy ,

“Kevin Sorbo is Hercules Jesus”

“Dean Cain and Jim Cavezal star in Anti-Justice Warriors”

Badeendje ,
@Badeendje@lemmy.world avatar

Oh now I get it… and a hulk Hogan reality soap like Ozzy Osbourne used to do… but then with more shirt tearing.

atocci , (edited )

Remember the Geico caveman commercial they turned into a sitcom? It’ll be original content just like that, but with sentient cows instead.

Edit: I believe what I have described is called Back at the Barnyard (2007-2011)

Sgt_choke_n_stroke ,

Where else are they gonna play “this is us” commercials without getting laughed at?

downpunxx ,

The Venn diagram of those that would watch a Chick Fil A streaming service, NCAA College football families and fans of Professional wrestling is a complete circle

NuXCOM_90Percent ,

Nah. BUNCH of white folk who can’t stop talking about how great the service is at chik fil a and how they teach people to respect customers will lap this up. Same with the people who insist that chikfila makes the best chicken on the planet because even a single spec of spice would give them an upset tum-tum and the pickle marinade means they can overcook the white meat without turning it into powder.

People are probably too young to remember but there was very much a time when fox news was “center right” compared to CNN’s “center left” and was mostly billed around being “fair and balanced”. Shit like this is an attempt to get conservative-lite programming out there in preparation for the inevitable push back of mask off bigotry after November.

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