This is one of those things that, once you’re aware of the effect, you can make more-conscious choices about. It doesn’t make you immune from the effects, but perhaps you can notice them more easily and process them sooner. This might be a way to practise not comparing yourself to others, which I consider a skill for everyone to cultivate.
If it seems like you never progress and you just keep chasing engagement, then get out and walk in nature more, if that option is available to you. Building a habit like that might provide you with the attention capacity you need to let the social media stuff in without it consuming you.
I still chase engagement, but not nearly as much as I did three years ago. It takes time, but it can change.
Even so, remember that you want to be accepted and loved. That seems unlikely ever to change. Maybe you can find that sense of belonging somewhere else.