I mean, you really are in a tough spot because all these emotions around this desire for connection: the want, pain, grief, anger, sadness are all the ways in which your body/ brain are screaming “I need this” so I can see how the obvious solution would be “I just have to stop wanting it” so that I can make the screaming stop
but I think what the original comment (and potentially some other comments) are saying is that you maybe have to turn toward the, listen to it, honor it (in a practical sense maybe get therapy or find other social services to try and meet the need in the interim) and then tell yourself that you are going to get your body/ brain what it needs, you’re just going to do in a different way. You’re going to work on things that matter to you, and move forward down that path, instead of the one you are currently on.
It’s not easy to listen though. Listening means facing a lot of the places that fear comes from. It’s all just very hard and I sincerely hope you find what you’re looking for.