I think a lot of people view the search for a soul mate as a quest to find the person that’s going to love them as deeply and unequivocally as they love themselves but neither of those goals are really… the thing you should be striving for.
I’m married and I don’t think my husband loves me as much as he loves himself (which might sound sad) but I don’t want him to love me the same way he loves himself. I want him to love me as his partner, as someone who is working alongside him to achieve what we mutually hope to achieve and the things we individually want to achieve.
There’s a reason that bonds develop during shared experiences. Love comes from doing something with someone, a partnership comes about when you want to do a lot of things with someone. You can have so many meaningful connections working with other humans on things that mean something to you.
I hope OP can find a path forward where they pursue the things that matter to them and can find connection (romantic or otherwise) in the shared experience that comes from their pursuit.