I first was introduced to hex by a similar post, idk the community, and my first reaction was, "holy shit it, those people are toxic!” maybe it was a complaint about the dunktank. Since then, I've come to recognize how intelligent and sane they actually are.
Abuse begets abuse, and the cycle continues. I do hope my own instance hasn't defederated. I've learned so much, incrementally, and developed a particular fondness for some users. I do feel enriched for them and ml having educated me patiently and kindly. I see them as older siblings who are human, like me. In fact, I'd say there are some I adore. Not hero worship, because that sets is up for disappointment or cult of personality. Just a particular fondness.