Australia checking in … I feel similarly about the attitude of doctors and the type of care I receive. I don’t have any amazing advice that you’re not already following, but I’ll regale you with my thoughts regardless…
About 18 months ago I developed a chronic health condition that I will need to manage for the rest of my life (hopefully several decades). In that time I’ve seen a myriad of medical professionals.
My first tip would simply be that if you’re not satisfied with a doctor or specialist, your only recourse it to arrange to see another instead. Sometimes the advice / treatment prescribed will vary significantly, sometimes they just have a less punchable face.
As regards GPs, I’ve come to categorise them thusly: those that just prescribe meds without any conversation, those that try to manipulate you into wanting the meds they want to prescribe, and those that will have a conversation with you about what meds you ought to take. Obviously this last category is the one you want.
Finally, I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of simply staying on top of all the data about me. I have all my test results available on my phone, as well as medications, dates of treatments, contact details for specialists, et cetera. Also just understanding the available treatments.