I understand, and I will hurt myself long before I would consider hurting anyone else. Fortunately, or un- depending on perspective, I am extremely capable of creative thinking in the abstract intuitive sense, and nearly what one might call competent at the applied sciences. I can think of many ways to be dangerous. White collar would be most effective in that sense. I could be an advanced script kiddie if I tried. It is not hard to devise a plan that would induce a strong response to make an example out of.
This post is primarily therapeutic; to feel like I can call some degree of attention to the frustrating reality. And to feel a little less hopeless and abandoned in the evenings following another denial of disability after waiting 2 years, and for the second time. My folks are showing their age, and existentialism is creeping in occasionally.