I’m not sure you’re going to find universal causes or justifications. It’s been a few decades since I’ve fallen into those habits. For me, it was that my health really sucked and it was a way to exercise some minor control. I was in a fuckton of pain because I was sick and fuck me, right? But this pain right there? I chose that pain. That kind of stupidity. There’s better ways to go about that than what I was doing.