It’s nowhere near accurate. This guy clearly never played wingco 3 with it’s 15 minute intro.
This guy clearly also had never played mechwarrior 3. A game by microprose no wait fasa interactive no wait microsoft no wait some other investment party.
This guy clearly also never fucked around with EMS or XMS.
This guy also never lived in the pre windows era. (clicking on an exe, come on people.)
Reality was:
Installing a game was an afternoon. Ever swapped 14 floppy disks? Then came cdrom which made it better (double speed master race @300 KB/sec! Yes! Now it only took an hour!
Then
D: CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
GAME.EXE (enter)
this game needs 605 KB free base ram. You have 585 KB. Please free up ram and try again
(muck around with qemm386 and if you where poor emm386) Reboot, reboot, reboot.
CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
GAME.EXE (enter)
Crash.
Reset.
CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
Config.exe (enter)
Scroll with arrow buttons to sound Config. Check. You can’t remember the dipswitches you set on your soundblaster pro. Open the cabinet, remove the card. Look at the dipswitches on it. you see now you set the dipswitch to irq 5 instead of 7. Fuck, that’s it. You also make a mental note of the dma channel and the memory address. Fuck that, you couldn’t remember it last time so you write it down. Irq5, dma 1, 220h.
Reinsert to the ISA slot, close cabinet. Reboot. Fuck. No sound from the cdrom. Guess you knocked that flimsy cable loose again. Fuck it, this game fortunately has no cd audio.
CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
GAME.EXE (enter)
Crash.
WTF?
Oh I’m so fucking dumb, I didn’t set the irq in Config.exe of the game, I just wrote it on this piece of paper. Ffs. Reboot.
CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
Config. Exe (enter)
Scroll to soundcard, change the irq from 7 to 5, check the dma… That’s good, check the memory address… 240h… Fuck. Good I catched that as well. Change that also to 220h.
Exit,
Game.exe.
Crash.
Godfuckinghelldamnit.
The fucking retarded mouse driver conflicts with qemm. I don’t need that fucker for this game, remove it from Config.sys. Reboot.
CD\GAMES\GAME (enter)
GAME.EXE (enter)
Glide3d error on line 2365. You need version 2.13. You have 2.10.
Oh fucking hell.
CD windows Win.com
No mouse detected.
Fuckingthefuckfuck.
Edit Config.sys, unrem The mouse driver, remove the qemm optimisations because they clashed with the mouse driver.
Reboot.
Win. Com. Click on netscape. Start the modem. [modem sounds] 56k6 baby! That fucker is fast!
Click on the address line (netscape crashes)
Sigh. You’re to tired to even curse at this moment. Click on netscape again. Click on address bar, www.3dfx.com
Wait… (loading at 4k a second)
Click on support
Wait… (loading at 4k a second)
Click on drivers
Wait… (loading at 4k a second)
Click on glide
Wait… (loading at 4k a second)
Click on download latest.
Wait… For 30 minutes for it to download. (loading at 4k a second)
Your mum wants to call your aunt. You have to hang up that computer bullshit NOW.
Fuckingthefuckhelcuntshit.
Mum, it’s only 5 minutes remaining! I don’t care, I’m out of eggs and I need them. Maybe you’re aunt has some otherwise I have to go to the store. Hang up now!
Fuck. Hangup.
Wait.
Do it all again.
Finally downloaded. You just know you’re going to get your ass chewed up by your dad because you where downloading for over an hour, it probably costed somewhere around 5-7 bucks to download this driver because of the egg fiasco. Anyway, install the driver.
First unzip it.
C: Cd\temp Unzip Glide3d.zip
Error unreadable byte at 435543.
Sigh.
Download it again
(now you know for sure you’re going to get it)
This time it unzips.
Install.exe.
It installs.
Finally.
Reboot. Start game. Not enough memory because of the new glide driver. And you forgot to unload the mouse driver.
I’ll take current day ads, tracking and the sacrifice of the soul of my firstborn due to EULA’S any fucking day
It’s like jack Nicholson said in a few good men:
THE TRUTH? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
(I lied a tiny bit, Glide3d usually meant a dos4gw game which finally meant 32 bit addresses and no conventional memory bullshit. But you can change that for any other driver you needed)