My bad. Only slept 3 hours trying to get things to work last night. And 6 before that.
I had already resigned to just getting an Intel n100 mini PC for my purposes, but I might take another crack at it with your recommendations in the future, after I get some rest and stop dreaming of pies in the sky.
Except Raspberry OS. It’s still a bit sluggish for me. Manjaro KDE has been the fastest so far.