The Microsoft support forums are pitifully hilarious, too.
“Hi, I need help with N. I’ve tried X, Y, and, Z.”
“Hello, sorry to hear that you’re having trouble with N. Have you tried X, Y, or Z?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry to hear that it’s still not working. Please refer to this thread, and feel free to contact Microsoft Support with any future questions. Have a nice day.”