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irmoz , (edited )

Excuses. Trauma can cause aberrant behaviour, true, but unless your moral center is corrupted by toxic beliefs, you will recognise those behaviours as wrong and feel bad about it. The types of people who think the dynamic pictured in the OP are standard have either been raised with or have discovered and adopted an ideology of patriarchy, that presents such “wife bad” mentality as morally good.

So yes, you may have anger issues or problems with violence because of trauma, but you will still feel remorse because you now it’s wrong. Or, on the other hand, you may simply believe that such violence and domination is the natural social order and thus be a toxic scumbag.

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