I’m on the autism spectrum too. I’m on my second marriage. My current partner knows I’m n the spectrum, and (mostly) accepts it. We’ve been married for eight years. My prior partner and I married before I was tested; they kept expecting me to change.
And now, knowing what I do, I’d not put effort towards something as hard to find and keep as love.
Here’s the secret: NT people also have to put in effort to find and keep love. There are no fairy tales for anyone, and it requires effort from everyone. If you’re not willing to put in that effort, then no, you’re never going to find and keep love. And there aren’t guarantees, because you’re talking about another person, one that has their own internal life, and is making their own choices. When I practice shooting, my improvement in that area is entirely on me; my gun doesn’t have it’s own will. It is an extension of me. When I’m working on connecting to my partner, they still have their own agency. So if I don’t seem to be making progress, that may not be me at all, but due to their choices.