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Venting about shit. Angry about the willfully ignorant motherfuckers around me.

I’m meeting my grandfather for lunch on Friday. It’ll be the first time I’ve seen him in several years. He went all the way down the hate hole. Never heard him cuss but last time we talked he was using the N word.

He’ll be 87 soon. Most likely, I’ll never see him again. He’s going to find out we’re moving out of the south to yankee land.

Fuck it. He’s not the man I knew. He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.

I hate it and it fucks me up. I’ve lost my people to hate and stupid. So fucking stupid. They all want to suck some orange cock. Fucking really? That’s your fucking Messiah? They didn’t actually fucking read the fucking book they claimed they believed in while shoving bullshit down my throat and the throats of any child they could get ahold of.

Fuck em. They could wake the fuck up if they choose to. They could read. They could think. I tried to tell them.

I’m real sad about it. Not a fucking thing I can do about it. They can live inside their lie holes.

Blackberry Winter has skipped two years. There are armadillos, geckos, and fire ants now. Those critters didn’t live here until things changed. The fucking woods smell and sound different now. They could wake the fuck up and quit listening to fox or their preacher but they choose not to.

I tried to tell them and they didn’t listen because they choose to be ignorant.

fuck em

A_Very_Big_Fan ,

He doesn’t have the wisdom I thought he did.

I know it’s armchair/backseat advice, but if it comes up I suggest telling him this word for word. It’s the kind of thing that would (or at least should) pierce the soul of a man his age.

tiredofsametab ,

For your gandfather, could it be dementia? Personality change, including dropping of inhibitions, can be signs of that.

Machinist OP ,
@Machinist@lemmy.world avatar

No, he’s still sharp. This shit ate my parents, cousins, aunts and uncles. I’ve got one aunt that is still sane and she moved away when I was a kid.

Asafum ,

Be mad at the propagandists. The same thing happened to my best friend and my father. It’s 99.999% at the feet of the likes of fox news and Newsmax.

They get introduced through the lense of “fairness” (illegal immigrants “skip the line” it’s not fair!) (msm lies about trump, it’s not fair!) (I pay taxes and it goes to lazy people, it’s not fair!) and these outlets keep tickling your amygdala keeping you angry and it just spirals. These people end up watching right wing media as “hate-porn” and it becomes a bit of an addiction. They completely believe they are on the right side and any time you bring up some disgusting thing a right winger said/did they can dismiss it as “lies” because their chosen hate-monger tells them as such.

They have some blame as they allow themselves to hate, they form some justification, but you can see it here too from “the left.” See just how many people (myself included) will say how much they hate Republicans (in office for me) so it’s entirely a human thing which is why I blame propaganda almost entirely.

I should change my username because I say it so often, but I FUCKING HATE PROPAGANDISTS!

AbsoluteChicagoDog ,

I have no pity for willfully ignorant people

OprahsedCreature ,

Either this is a significant personality change that would indicate an illness requiring treatment, or this is who he’s secretly always been in which case you’re really not losing anything but your illusions and if this is the last time you see him then you’re not really losing anything important.

If it’s the former it may help you to feel better by trying to get him some help, even if you fail then at least you tried. If it’s the latter then it’s just best to cut your losses as soon as possible and move on.

DancingBear ,

I have similar issues with my family. Never forget how much they love you, and never forget that they are the ones who helped you become the person you are today, regardless of the politics and or language they used to get you there

Machinist OP ,
@Machinist@lemmy.world avatar

They have become what they taught me not to be. I studied what they told me was the truth. They would crucify Jesus for being a pinko commie. Something changed and they aren’t who they used to be. I have a lot of trouble trying to make peace with it.

DancingBear ,

They opened your eyes. Give thanks for that. The world works in mysterious ways, and they need your love more than ever now.

Bananobanza ,

This actually sounds a bit toxic tbh

DancingBear ,

How so? Because the family is toxic?

Aurenkin ,

It’s not necessarily the case in this specific situation but in general this way of thinking can prevent people from getting out of situations that are really bad for their mental health.

That was the case for me at least where I didn’t cut off harmful family members out of a sense of obligation to them but that was a bit of a different situation to what the OP is describing.

clockwork_octopus ,

This… I don’t necessarily agree with this. If you come from a healthy, functional family, then sure, but for those of us who don’t, this is a very unhealthy attitude to keep, and is a mindset that is very easily manipulated.

blackluster117 ,
@blackluster117@possumpat.io avatar

And it’s almost impossible to explain to people who don’t come from that background. Ask me how I know…

weeeeum ,

I’m in a very similar spot. My mom is starting to slip mentally and the further she slides, the more hateful she becomes. Before she knew and were friends with many diverse people. Now she hates their kind. Gays, trans, immigrants, blacks, etc.

I theorize the more you decline mentally, and lose your ability to critically think, the most convincing arguments are most repeated ones. I’ve noticed that the strength of her opinions are usually based on the frequency that she hears it. I can predict how often she’s gonna start ranting about black people, trans pedophiles, electric vehicles by the amount of content she’s watching. The more she watches, the more she argues.

I can’t seem to break her out of this cycle. The right has thoroughly brainwashed her that Democrats and leftists are scum and should only exist to be shamed and exiled. If an opinion or fact is even slightly related to democratic values, she just shuts off and rejects it.

She had a PhD and was extremely successful but now she has difficulty just using the oven. There are days when she is lucid and relatively straight thinking but other days she is entirely unintelligible and relies heavily on hand gestures.

Sometimes I wish she would pass. She causes so much pain for everyone around her (my sisters went no contact) and she is in pain herself. She is so extremely stressed and fears that antifa is going to burn down all of the great American cities, the homeless and blacks are going to ravage and loot everything and the left will be complicit since it’s their “ultimate goal” to destroy america.

It makes me extremely sad.

MystikIncarnate ,

When I see stuff like this, I’m happy my father died when he did. He was also suffering at the time so seeing him no longer in pain was a good thing. I won’t get into that whole story, but he started going that way when he became a bit too forgetful. As in, he couldn’t even follow along with a normal conversation anymore. Happened sometime in the mid to late 2010’s.

He watched stuff like Fox, and listened to guys like Rush Limbaugh, and he was religious. I don’t really follow any media/news organizations, I don’t listen to pretty much any broadcasts specifically, nor follow any specific celebrities, and I’m atheist/agnostic/non-religious (I have some beliefs, but they’re not relevant to the story. I will say that I generally abhor any organized religion with a few exceptions).

I never saw him get consumed with hate over these things. He wasn’t aware enough that he could have even realized that Trump was president at all.

I should also disclose, were not Americans. We’re Canadians, but ask pretty much any Canadian about American politics and most of us will have a good understanding, meanwhile we generally know less about our own politics.

In any case, at the time that this decline into hate mongering started, his mental faculties were all but non-existent.

I’m truly sorry that you’ve had to deal with this op. I wish you the very best of luck moving forward.

ATDA ,

I’ve been having the same conversations. Told my family I love them as people but I’m moving because their politics quite literally are devolving into third world territory.

Can’t keep power on, roads and bridges falling apart, rights being taken away.

If that’s where you want to live that’s cool but peace.

Linkerbaan ,
@Linkerbaan@lemmy.world avatar

What’s the difference between your grandfather and a lib supporting Genocide?

skeezix ,

We could be talking about the gestation period of marsupials and you linkerbaan, as is your wont, would try to turn the conversation to Gaza.

medgremlin ,

Is there anything else in that head of yours? Do you have space in your mind alongside this vitriol for anything that makes life worth living? Family? Friends? Hobbies? What things do you find to be positive or wholesome in your perspective? I’d genuinely like to hear what your ideas and beliefs are beyond the topic of Gaza.

Yokozuna ,

I’m from the South so I feel your pain, people are painfully ignorant. I’m more interested in the fact that you said the woods sound and smell different, could you elaborate?

Melvin_Ferd ,

Hang out with grandpa and just ignore the trump shit. If it’s just them liking trump and that then learn to let go and just be with people if you liked them before trump. Not your job to change people. But don’t burn bridges. Internet taught a generation there are these clear lines that we can’t ever cross. My dad is a die hard trump supporter. Love him to death. We have many heated arguments and he fully knows he won’t listen to facts. I also refuse to listen to sources like fox or New York Post or other bullshit. We have many impasses. But I love him and would never dream of thinking less of him or going no contact over something that use to be a thing we all kept to ourselves. Not worth it. Don’t let trump make you burn the people in your life that are family.

But I get if they’re violent or deep deep deep into it. But also we should all get better at looking past this stuff. Trump will be gone one day and the bridges we burnt over it will never be worth it.

Dearth ,

Easy to say if you and yours fit into the demographics that trumpers support. Not everyone has the same privilege as you do.

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