Gonna out myself as a complete idiot here, but I used to regularly trip on Benadryl for a period of about a year and a half before I went to rehab. Thankfully I managed to come out of it with little noticeable damage, but I was left with permanent visual snow, and I’m sure it impacted my memory although mine has never been great.
DPH is a horrible substance. It’s advertised as non-habit forming, but there is absolutely a psychological pull the likes of which I’ve never experienced with any other substance. Every trip is an absolutely awful experience, yet you continue to convince yourself the next one will be better. It never is.
I’ve managed to cut that demon out of my life, but the craziest part is I’ll still catch myself fantasizing about it. Like, I can hear the most horrifying trip report where someone goes through agonizing hell and ends up in the hospital with serious permanent damage, and still think “damn, I kinda wanna take some”.
Glad you’re doing better now! Recovery is a lifelong effort, and I hope you’re able to keep your reasons for stopping fresh in your mind whenever you feel tempted.
A story that stuck with me was about a user who took so much benadryl regularly, that his short term memory was basically completely fucked. Said his brain always felt like it was constantly rattling in his skull.
I’d sometimes use a small dose of the stuff as a sleep aid, but I always woke up feeling awful. It’s amazing for allergies though.
Any “nighttime” cold and flu medication just has an antihistamine stuffed into the normal Tylenol, Robitussin, Mucinex “daytime” combo. The daytime used to include a decongestant, but you can make meth with Sudafed pretty trivially, and the replacement stuff did fuck all, so they pulled it from the market, so now if you’re healthy just build your own: Pain meds (Ibuprofen/Acetaminophen), an expectorant (Guaifenesin, though too much can make your stomach upset which is why it’s in everything that can be abused these days), a cough suppressant (dextromethorphan, expect to have to show an ID), and a decongestant (Pseudoephedrine, it’ll be at the pharmacy and you’ll need to show ID, but you don’t need a prescription).