Sounds like narcissistic tendencies, when you stop feeding them they come back.
Had an ex like this too, the moment I called her bluff and said I was going to grab boxes to move out she changed her tune since the power dynamic shifted. Then she wrapped the conversation around how we should try again and it wasn’t that big of a deal what I’d done, etc.
Most of them just don’t want to admit anything they’ve ever said was wrong so the perspective changes and gaslighting starts to creep in.