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phillaholic , in Webcam repairman

I did this one time accidentally. Needed to drop my car off for inspection and the guy on the phone told me to drop it off at 8am. I needed to catch their shuttle to work, so I interpreted that as it needed to be dropped by by 8am, not that they opened at 8am. He could have been clearer over the phone, and their hours were posted on a small piece of paper on a bulletin board two feet to the right of the door.

Taleya , in wyd

Still saner than the average horse

kyle , in schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp schlorp

I have three dogs, and I can tell which one is drinking based on sound.

One always takes a drink in sets of three.

One seems to hate water, barely gets a sip in the side of the bowl.

One drinks like she’s been in the Sahara for a month and it honestly sounds disgusting. Leaves a puddle around the bowl too.

Lath , in Comment any opinion and I will disagree with it, no matter what.

I think it would be great to have the same level of control of our anus that we have of our mouth. I wanna whistle my farts.

SVcross OP ,
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

The most random and thought inducing thing I’ve read all week. The only thing that would thrive is the porn industry and anal sex. But I see this as a biohazard.

Jakdracula ,
@Jakdracula@lemmy.world avatar

Your anus has taste buds.

Lath ,

They must be numb then because I ain't tasting shit!

robocall , in Comment any opinion and I will disagree with it, no matter what.
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

Lemmy is good

SVcross OP ,
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

…for nothing.

Rentlar , in Comment any opinion and I will disagree with it, no matter what.

You are lovely.

SVcross OP ,
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

Me and my father would say that I just suck. At least a sack of sick serves as compost.

tja , in Comment any opinion and I will disagree with it, no matter what.
@tja@sh.itjust.works avatar

Elon musk is one of the most intelligent people on earth and will make the world a better place to live in

SVcross OP ,
@SVcross@lemmy.world avatar

Not even close to be the most. The most intelligent is Cynthia (redacted) from Italy. Musk is just on the place 4.683.858.385 worldwide.

PhoreTwunny , in Please, my son… he’s very sick

Mister, would you please help my pony

fritobugger2017 , in Please, my son… he’s very sick
EvergreenGuru , in Please, my son… he’s very sick

My horse prefers Italian food.

Blue_Morpho , in Please, my son… he’s very sick

I know this is a deep cut for a joke:

The title of the painting is: Teal’s dream.

(Hyperdrive)

Tikiporch , in The foot gonna rob a bank

Stop wearing socks on the hardwood floor, that helps reduce wear and tear.

ininewcrow , in This meme is thought-provoking
@ininewcrow@lemmy.ca avatar

Also known as ‘BEER GOGGLES’

The things you see while drunk are not the same as what you see while sober

pruwybn , in What is an art
@pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de avatar

A star is born? Nah… a star is CORN.

robocall , in Here's your horoscope.
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

Virgo is spot on

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