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sharkfucker420 ,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

Anon is a good person

ceenote ,

He earned extra tendies.

Track_Shovel ,
@Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net avatar

Ya did the right thing, anon. Your mama raised you right, and would be proud.

hoshikarakitaridia ,
@hoshikarakitaridia@lemmy.world avatar

Cheating on her boyfriend with you will end in cheating on you with a new guy.

He dd the right thing, no regrets. It sucks a lot tho, and it’s hard.

VelvetStorm ,

And he didnt rape her which is more important than the cheating.

festnt ,

how would he be raping her anyway? she was the one trying to force him to have sex with her even after he made it clear he didn’t want to

lepinkainen ,

Drunk people and consent is a moral and legal gray area - it doesn’t matter if they initiate

Kusimulkku ,

Depends how drunk

southsamurai ,
@southsamurai@sh.itjust.works avatar

I’m going to give a longer explanation than was already given.

So, imagine yourself at a hospital. You’re about to have a minor surgery, and get knocked out. While you’re under, some nurse comes in and fucks you in the ass.

Is that rape?

Switch things up. You’re at a bar, having a good time, someone slips something in your drink. While you’re under the influence of that hit of whatever, they take you into the bathroom and fuck you in the ass, and you agreed to that, you may even like it.

Is that rape?

On a fundamental level, if someone is visibly drunk, or even olfactorily drunk (meaning your can smell the booze on them), they are in a state of mind that is the same as being drugged. It doesn’t matter if they are initiating contact, they are unable to give meaningful consent.

Now, if you want to argue we need another term instead of rape, I’m okay with that. We can call it whatever. But we have statutory rape already, which exists because we recognize that even when someone is the initiator, there are states of mind and being that simply can’t make a choice to have sex in a meaningful way. So using the term rape for violating meaningful consent is fine, even when it’s an adult, and even when they initiate.

I am also aware that there are edge cases where consenting before consuming a substance could/should count as meaningful consent. And I’m aware that there is a range of inebriation where meaningful consent is still possible. However it is nearly impossible to tell without testing what a person’s blood alcohol level is, so we’re limited. That in turn means that the standard for (at least colloquial usage) what is and isn’t inebriated rape has to be broader than it would be if we had reliable testing on the fly.

I also agree with your point that she was ignoring consent, and being an absolutely horrible person, and if she had persisted by force or coercion and he had given in, I wouldn’t accept her being drunk as a defense against any charges brought.

But there’s a fundamental inability to consent when drunk. How drunk? That’s something that would need to be addressed by medical science and then legislated. What’s the maximum BAC someone can give meaningful consent for other things? But that fact is there, that alcohol serves to break down the ability to consent, and sex without consent is considered rape, on at least a colloquial level, if not always on a legal level everywhere.

curiousaur ,

Laaame. You don’t know their situation, seriousness, or arrangements. Fuck around. Fuck as many people as you’d like. You only live once, and your junk stops working once you’ve figured it all out.

Seraph , (edited )
@Seraph@fedia.io avatar

The alternative is rape charges... so... yeah.

Edit: If she's vomiting drunk do you think she's going to remember consenting in the morning? Or wake up, remember nothing, and think you raped her? She might remember, she might not. It's a roll of the dice, but there's no way I'm rolling those dice. You go argue in court how "she really wanted you" all you want.

stoy ,

Taking this series of events at face value, it could absolutely be argued that she enthusiasticly constented (wrapping her legs around him and kissing), however, annon did absolutely right, and I would have done the same.

Jolteon ,

Someone’s drunk enough to vomit is not exactly in a consenting state.

stoy ,

On the other hand, someone holding on to and kissing someone else for a long time is clearly into the other person at the time.

Had annon been drunk, he could probably be excused for not realizing the situarion had it continued, but as he wasn’t (from what I understand) he would have been held to a higher standard

bamfic ,

Someone kissing me after having just puked would kill my boner too

Crashumbc ,

You don’t need to be drunk to vomit. Often kids will slam shots very quickly and throw up before they have a chance to absorb the alcohol.

Gullible ,

If anything, anon would have been the aggrieved party. “No” doesn’t mean yes or later or maybe, it means “no.” If getting drunk absolved you of all responsibility, DUIs wouldn’t exist. Folks need to respect boundaries.

stoy ,

I am with you right up untill he kissed her.

Though I read that as a way to distract her and get out of the situation.

Gullible ,

At a certain point of unwanted touching, you begin to wonder whether you’ve done something wrong, communicated something improperly, offered some hint at your consent. It’s a foreign sensation, a unique invasion and no two people respond exactly alike. Half an hour of molestation is a lot. It’s plenty of time to reach a trauma response. I don’t know whether anon, in this assuredly made up bait story, was in such a state but even the possibility is uncomfortable.

Wanderer ,

Not rape but it doesn’t matter.

If she claims it was because she is worried her bf will find out OP is fucked.

porous_grey_matter ,

Not really. The alternative is raping someone, but charges are extremely unlikely, hardly many rapes are actually prosecuted.

Crashumbc ,

There are many ways this could go wrong morally or legally. Without being there, no one can know. (Which makes it dangerous legally).

Just because she vomited doesn’t mean much. Especially, since they were “pre gaming”. Idiots in college would often slam shots or beers in drinking games, throwing up before they had a chance to really absorb much alcohol.

Morally, it depends on the power dynamic. How drunk was he compared to her? In this case, it sounds like the OP wasn’t drunk and made the safe decision. Even if he would be morally/legally right, the situation with the bf would probably involve a ton of unneeded drama.

OmegaLemmy ,

Good guy anon hope he lives life well

halvar ,

I really thought there will be a plotwist at the end that somehow this is all about grilling.

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