I agree. A lot of the friction here is due to miscommunication. That said, if what I said kept being misunderstood, then I would make a priority to improve my communication style.
This shit is hard. If one has ASD like I do, it’s even harder. Personally try to be very exact on what I say, even when speaking casually, and pepper smilies and caveats to try to ensure people don’t take what I say the wrong way. And even then I’ve stepped in it a number of times.
My perspective is that lemmy found perhaps a very unexpected success, and caught the devs flatfooted and this is how the stress of that success is manifesting. In short, they walk the walk, but can’t talk the talk.
There’s a saying where I’m from, that the Queen doesn’t just need to be pure, she needs to appear pure. And those two things are completely different skillsets.