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What "little" experiences changed the way you percieved things ?

Idk if “little experience” means something in English, but what I meant is non-life changing/threatening. Things that would otherwise go unnoticed.

For me, it was when I stopped drinking acoholic beverages because… I ended up finding it boring, I guess.

I started noticing how low key hostile my environment is towards people who dont drink. People started thinking I was sick, depressed, converted to islam, being snob, etc.

Bartenders started to openly mock me when I asked for a lemonade (they still do) : “We dont do that here”, “Go to a physician if you need that”, “you’re in a bar you know ?”.

I started realizing how hostile my country/region/groups can be to people who dont drink. Never realized that before.

Edit : typo

Supertramper ,

Reading about stoicism. It’s like an ethical anchor in my life now, a guide to be happy. It’s like the upgraded version of religious belief, perfectly fitting in the 21st century (even though it’s thousands of years old).

drifty ,
@drifty@sopuli.xyz avatar

Hello, I’m only 22 years old but I want to learn more about this. Will I be able to grasp the depth of the concept at my age or is it inherently for people who have already gained experience in life?

Supertramper ,

Everyone can understand the basic concepts of stoicism. Most of them are easy to understand, but hard to apply.

Unfortunately I can not recommend any English literature, but I see Deren Browns “Happy” getting recommended a lot. The books I read all had a practical focus, trying to apply stoic ideas to day-to-day life. Most stoics will recommend to also read historical literature, like Marcus Aurelius “Meditations” - this might be a bit too much for beginners.

For me personally, the most helpful stoic idea is the “dichotomy of control”. It basically says that you shouldn’t worry about things or facts you can’t change (“externalities”) and instead focus on the things that actually are under your control. And those are VERY few things.

A trivial example: Why should I worry about the “bad” weather during my holidays? I certainly can not control the weather and by nature, the weather is neither good or bad. It’s my brain that gives a sunny day more value than a thunderstorm. So instead of complaining about the weather, I should try to make the best out of it and maybe even appreciate it.

maegul ,
@maegul@lemmy.ml avatar

Worked with someone senior to me in my org, who would always complain about how people don’t know how to work well or get too distracted by new technology etc. It was often compelling and made you feel guilty about not being better.

Then I realised they were unconsciously talking about themselves. They were always distracted by their emails and computer and hardly ever getting good work done.

You hear about people projecting. But to see it in person and realise that a whole person’s seemingly insightful or valuable position on what’s “good” was just self-centred abuse is quite another thing.

I was never one to take authority seriously, quite the opposite really, but this really removed what little ability I had to perceive someone with respect without massive amounts of evidence and proof.

There are few hero’s amongst us. We’re all pretty flawed and broken.

Spzi ,

I forgot the details, but I remember vividly the strong feeling of being right about something. And then I learned I was wrong.

This was when I started to distrust that feeling. It is comforting, but not a trustworthy guide to truth.

oshitwaddup ,

Yes! For me that has happened a few major times i can remember. I used to be a huge apple fanboy, until i learned i prefer android and linux way more. i know that’s kind of a lame example but it was the first time i became aware of what you’re talking about and opened the door to me thinking critically about other things - namely religion and ethics. The other two major times i’ve had this feeling was with religion, realizing it’s not true and leaving the church, and then after that having to think about ethics for myself and realizing there’s no good reason to exclude nonhuman animals from moral consideration. That exploiting and abusing them for taste pleasure and fashion and tools was totally unjustifiable.

It’s definitely a bizarre feeling, but it’s very important to be open to it and stay on the lookout for other things one could be wrong about

Spzi ,

I used to be a huge apple fanboy, until i learned i prefer android and linux way more. i know that’s kind of a lame example but it was the first time i became aware of what you’re talking about and opened the door to me thinking critically about other things

That is perfectly fitting. Thank you for understanding what I meant and expanding with details. I can totally relate to everything you wrote.

I find the example about taste or preference particularly interesting, since there is no objective answer. Still, the mechanics are similar. It is easy to commit to one particular idea, to one specific self-image. But maybe ‘you’ aren’t exactly what you thought you’d be? Being more humble and open can be a liberating experience.

On a related note, I strongly recommend playing theater, especially for everyone who believes they cannot do it.

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