Withdrawal is so much worse than people make it out to be. When the physical part stops, the mental part remains forever.
When I was an addict, I was able to stare down a gun in my face with no fear. Now, I may have a panic attack when my boss says they want to talk to me. Even though I know that is a human experience, once you know there is an off button, it is very hard to resist the temptation.
Luckily, I invested in people and activities that make it embarrassing/impossible for me to be that way again. It is part of my ongoing strategy to make relapse not worth it.