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lemmefixdat4u ,

When you’re using a bidet with the underseat nozzle, imagine you’re washing dog shit off the sidewalk, except you’re the sidewalk. You do the bidet dance - shimmy your butt side-to-side as you scoot back-to-front. Fiddle with the strength of the stream until you find what’s still comfortable, but strong enough to knock all the poop loose. The sprayer-and-hose style of bidet means you don’t have to shimmy, but you have to be a bit more careful where you aim it. Blot dry with TP. Some TP works better with a bidet because it doesn’t disintegrate as easily when wet.

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