“A lot of networks report the news as it happens. But only one has the power to report the news BEFORE it happens. Through our state-of-the-art wormhole sattelite, the Onion News Network Future channel brings you exclusive news transmissions from the year 2137. Because to stay ahead in today’s world, you need to know what’s going to happen in tomorrow’s.”
And then on the map one of the states is Gay Texas LMAO