Get into therapy. The best time to start was years ago. The next best time to start is now.
I had all kinds of anti-social coping mechanisms. Life was challenging in ways that made me an asshole. I’ve been able to unravel it about 97% and have made huge strides in other areas. I didn’t think I’d ever be where I am today. Do yourself a favor and find someone you trust (it might not be the first therapist you consult) and work on yourself.