Morning motivation routine? Oh, it’s a finely tuned process. First, I snort a casual 50mg of Adderall to wake up the brain cells. Then, I chug a can of monster, but not before I stir in a dash of crushed Euro Speed—gotta keep the heart rate interesting. Next, I sprinkle a 200mg crack rock into my morning coffee, because why not? And just before stepping out, I inject a solid 100mg of meth straight into the arm for that extra ‘let’s conquer the world’ vibe. All of this in under four minutes, and honestly, it’s not that bad. Life is beautiful… unless you eat 369 pills of Benadryl, then things get a bit weird.