Yo, jesus christ. I missed this. Big apologies. I mean it's not like...you know - my job to respond to people. But I love communicating with folks and I wanna send some kind of thank you for people who share. Cause it's ballsy, you know? It's a lot easier to not interact.
Either way, I think yours got lost in the sea of messages. But I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for your loss. I am glad that you found happiness(ish?) in the end. I haven't seen it much in life, but I have met a couple of men who have lost their wives to something out of their control. The one who left the biggest impression on me was a man who lost his wife to diabetes. He said she weighed absolutely nothing in the end, and that he could just hold her in his arms as such. And he was sweet, in the sense that he was an open communicator. But there was definetely something broken in his spirit, and something that left him wandering. Like an endless restlessness. His eyes were sharp, his voice was clear - he advised me to take care of my health because it can go faster than you think. He was probably in his mid-40s then and I hope he's found happiness since.