Kudos to you for ending the lineage. Yes I totally agree in many cases passive aggression isn’t deliberate, but it can be very harmful to those receiving it anyway. I’ve seen my mother do both. Pointing out the deliberate cases on the spot will also rip off her mask like you say, but in the other cases it’s very hard to make her see it. Cue in gaslighting and denial… Eventually she does come around though but she needs to see the damage to understand she was being aggressive in the first place.