Productivity is completely unrelated to success imo. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy with yourself and your life, maybe productivity is not what brings you joy?
even though i might indulge in activities that are pleasurable for me now, they add up to nothing
Those activities are just as valid as a productive activity, especially if they make you happier. Being productive is great, but I feel productive activities should never take precedence over non-productive ones simply because they’re productive. Do what you have to do, but never sacrifice your own happiness at the altar of forward progress.