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Men, are you physically affectionate with other male friends? (eg, hugging, snuggling, playful wrestling, etc). If you aren't, do you wish it was more socially acceptable if it isn't in your culture?
Hugging, definitely. No playful wrestling since high school, and what there was there was definitely more motivated by competition and testosterone than affection.
As for snuggling, I wouldn’t want to snuggle with anyone that I didn’t have at least some sexual attraction to, unless I was in serious emotional distress and just needed it for the reversion to childhood. So I don’t snuggle with guys. I don’t know of many straight women who snuggle with their platonic friends either, beyond like sharing a blanket for a movie.
Snuggling, maybe? Like maybe we both fell asleep in the back of a van and ended up snuggling a bit and when we woke up we’re not weirded out by it.
Wrestling, maybe, but it would probably be with kids or pets around. I can’t remember doing it but I wouldn’t be weirded out by it.
It wasn’t always this way though. I was raised southern Baptist. Becoming OK with male physical interactions and homosexuality was a journey, and I am much happier with how accepting I am now than when I said I was as a Christian who had this low-key hypocritical “I know the truth of god and accept everybody” while also looking down on sinners.
I have a gay friend who came to visit me and we went around the city and to a house party and had a great time and then fell asleep in the beach. The next day he said “that was one of the best dates I’ve ever been on” and it caught me off guard because I was just “hanging out”, but if it had been a girl, it would have been a great date, and I thought “ok, sure, it was a ‘date’ with a guy friend and that’s ok.” It was a big step for me.
Not really a response related to the post prompt, but more your comment…
I grew up on a farm in rural NC. Graduated college with a film degree & headed west to LA. I wound up rooming with a friend a from high school, his girlfriend, & her friend from fashion school…
…who turned out to be a 6’7”, 225lbs, gay volleyball player & ex-cheerleader from Korea.
My friend only knew me as the little redneck kid who used to throw rocks at rabbits & swore too much growing up. He lectured me on behaving around a gay man & really made a big deal about not being ass to our roommate.
4 years later I transitioned & got my first makeup lessons from that roommate. He became my drag mom 🤣
I’m not very physically affectionate with anyone anymore and I don’t know why, but I used to be very affectionate. Now, like, when I want to hug someone, throw my arm around them, or… anything, I freeze up and internally panic unless I know the person pretty well and they invite the contact first.
With that said, meh. I don’t care if it’s a man. I don’t enjoy wrestling, but other forms of affection or physical contact are fine. I have no sexual interest in men, so I guess I don’t even think about it that way.
I do more than playfully wrestle with my friends. As I do BJJ. I actively try to choke them out or try to break their limbs or try to tear their ligaments apart. It’s very fun for all. Though while it’s open to anyone I do get most people wouldn’t enjoy it. It’s personally physical to the extreme since on top of the close physical contact you’re also sweating all over each other to the point sweat dripping in your eyes or mouth will statistically happen at least once.
Honestly if you feel like you miss playful fighting with friends, do a trial class of it.
My friends take about stabbing each other, because we do HEMA. Sometimes slight grappling gets involved. Much less physically…intimate, but still very open to verbal inuendo.
Cool! Yeah, they also have Ringen which also can be nice! I tried sword fighting a couple of times but I don’t like the competition form of it (also I’m bad at it).
I guess that’s just the intentional innuendo I use about it. If you look up bjj memes (or Craig Jones) you’ll find most people preempt the jokes insecure people might make about dressing up in lycra and wrestling with other sweaty men in a padded room.
I’m a big hugger. I wish that there was more affection between men, I often worry I’m making other men uncomfortable and then in turn I get uncomfortable about it. The whole thing makes me far more stressed than I wish it did honestly.
There’s one guy in my little group of friends who is an unapologetic hugger, even though the rest of us don’t really hug he’ll always hug everyone goodbye. I’d say it’s possible some guys don’t enjoy it, but I actually really appreciate it about him, it’s nice getting a hug and sometimes I really need one.
For anyone who really doesn’t like it they can always offer their hand first, but on behalf of all the guys who need a little affection from their buds sometimes I wanna say thanks for being there for the friends who need it. Even if they never say so I’m sure some of them appreciate it.
I’ve been watching Bridgerton lately and it took me too long to realize that “offering their hand” meant handshake.
Like, how is proposing less familiar than hugging?
My sister’s partner is like that. His whole family is the same, from what I could see. It’s not as natural for me, despite my family not being particularly cold either. It’s a me problem, though, so IMHO it shouldn’t deter you. Keep normalizing that shit.
I’m not no. I’d give my buddies a hug if I haven’t seen them in a while, but that’s really it. I think it should be more socially acceptable but I don’t personally feel like anything is missing from my own relationship with them. It’s fine for me how it is.